During my prayer time last night, I found myself shaking my fist at God in frustration. Thankfully He didn’t strike me with lightning because He is merciful and full of lovingkindness. Plus, it motivated me to write this blog. I am open to the idea that what I’m about to tell you was part of His plan for me. It’s possible He allowed me to go through the events I’m going to share to help me grow and become more holy. And to think it all started with the failure of permanent eyeliner.
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He Goes Before Us – Do Not Be Dismayed
I just returned from a three-day visit to Duke Hospital for an infection. They weren’t sure if it was pneumonia or a bad UTI, so they treated me with the strongest antibiotics available and I am feeling so much better. A three-day stay is just a flyover for me. I began to think about the hospital stays I’ve had over the last eight years and some of them have lasted months. When I think back, I am surprised that I had the patience to lay there, unable to get into my wheelchair, unable to access my laptop, and enduring needle pokes, examinations, and other invasive procedures.
Read the rest of this entryGod’s Love for Us
For many of you that read my blog, you know that I am paralyzed from the shoulders down and live in a long-term care facility. My permanent aide of the last five years has picked up different responsibilities so others are having to fill in. There has been very little consistency in the aides that are now taking care of me over the three shifts that have to be covered. It’s difficult to have someone different every day see me in ways that make me feel super vulnerable.
These changes in my caregiving routine have caused me a lot of insecurity and anxiety. These feelings are amplified during my nightly battle with insomnia and have caused me to experience a wicked depression. Some mornings I feel like I just can’t breathe and it’s difficult to focus on doing the right things.
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Diary of a Quadriplegic 