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Tag Archives: Discipleship

God Sees Us

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This blog post was inspired by chapter 2 of Ann Spangler’s book, Names of God (Spangler 2009).

Have you ever felt that God doesn’t see you? That maybe he is not aware of how deeply you are hurting? You wonder why he is not healing your physical pain. You wonder why he is not restoring a difficult relationship in your life. I have felt those very things, on and off, since I started my Christian journey in 1989. I felt these emotions as an able-bodied person and then as a wheelchair-bound person for the last 10 years. I want to share the story of Hagar to give encouragement to all of us.

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RENEWAL THROUGH AFFLICTION

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It seems like my hospitalizations are what inspire me to write my blog posts, and here is my latest episode! About a week ago, my wheelchair and I had a collision with my bed rail and it resulted in a lot of blood and a fractured tibia. After my knee cap swelled up to an extra-large size, we realized it was time for me to go to the hospital for x-rays.

Even though I went to the hospital to check on my broken bone, we suspected I had some type of infection because while I was there, I became feverish, nauseated, and had fluctuating blood pressure. What should have been a quick x-ray and return home, turned out to be a weeklong stay with IV antibiotics and scary drops in my blood pressure. As much as I hate lying motionless in a hospital bed, I had some wonderful revelations.

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GOD WITH US

It has been a long time since I have posted. I have had so many people check in with me to make sure I am alive and well. I want to let you know that I am getting better slowly after some long hospitalizations that weaved in and out of my hectic class schedules and caused me to withdraw from a couple of classes. Although I cannot help it when I get these septic infections, it is terribly discouraging to feel like I have to “quit” whatever I’m involved in at the moment.

My last hospitalization was the scariest of any I have experienced since I woke up in the ICU in 2013 after my neck was broken. This time around, because my infection was septic, I was unable to communicate with the doctors and even my family. I could understand what they were saying to me and I knew how I wanted to respond, I simply could not put it into words how to answer them.

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