My greatest challenge as a quadriplegic has been feeling worthwhile. Before my accident, I gained all of my confidence from my job, my outward appearance, and what other people thought of me. After my accident I felt so lost. For the first six months or so I didn’t even look in the mirror. If I did look, I hated what I saw. I remember seething with bitterness when I saw other women all dolled up the way I used to be. Everything the world offered me for self-confidence was gone.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. Psalm 118:8 – 9
Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings… Psalm 17:8
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands… Isaiah 49:15 – 16
What the world offered me before for happiness was false and fleeting. If I’d only known that God was the only one who would never let me down. If I had only known that no boyfriend/prince would ever make me whole. Not only am I the apple of God’s eye, my name is engraved in the palms of his hands! No worldly love will ever complete me or match the depth of God’s unfailing, everlasting love.
I can’t say this struggle has left me. I find it challenging to even write about this now because my injury is still so fresh. But I know the Scriptures are truth and I am fighting to find my true worth in God alone.