I finally got my new wheelchair. My friends got together and raised $28,000 to make the purchase. I felt so inspired! I had so much hope that this new wheelchair would alleviate the neck pain that has been dogging me for a few years. Everyone that donated was so excited and couldn’t wait for me to post pictures on Facebook… Unfortunately, not all prayers are answered in the way we think they should be answered.
BTW – for those who donated towards my wheelchair and are now concerned, I am confident these tweaks will be made and I’ll be comfortable in the near future. The company is working with me as much as I need.
1 Kings 19: 3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.
In the previous chapter Elijah had a great victory. God used him to prove that he was the only God, and to put the worshipers of Baal to shame. Elijah then slaughtered all the prophets of Baal to further establish God’s power and his sovereignty. Even after these great victories, Elijah got scared of what might happen to him. He stopped believing that God had his best interest at heart. So what did he do? He asked God to take his life and then took a nap.
I’ve felt that way, too, over the last month or so. I feel myself asking, what’s the point? The neck pain is actually worse than it was in my old wheelchair, and there’s so many other things about the wheelchair that I just don’t like and that I don’t believe are good for my body. So even as I write this blog, I feel like I’m at a standstill. The following scriptures have refocused my heart and mind.
Psalm 42: 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Habakkuk 3: 17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Although I am confident that tweaks will be made and the problems will be corrected, what I’m called to do during the weight is to praise God. What I can do now is be joyful in my Savior. Choosing to praise God and be joyful is a decision, not a feeling. I think of all the things that God has done in the last five years, and I praise him.
God allowed me to come off the ventilator when no one believed I would ever breathe on my own. I have incredibly supportive friends and family that help me do things that I could never do on my – like going to a movie, going to church every Sunday, and so much more.
God has given me a new opportunity to be a mentor to other spinal cord injury patients. This is an honor and an answered prayer. It will be as rewarding to me as it might be to the newly injured people I work with that need a compassionate and understanding ear.
As a result of this injury, my relationship with God has more depth and meaning. Looking back to my able-bodied days, it seems like my relationship with God was superficial. In many ways, I believe this injury has not only made be a better person, but has saved my life. For that, I am grateful.
We all have life experiences that knock us down – death of loved ones, lost jobs, or just experience an incredible dry spell in our relationship with God. We feel we just can’t make a connection. It’s at that time we need to make a decision to give God glory for what he’s already done for us, and what he will do in the future.
I believe the issues with my wheelchair will get corrected, I just wish it would happen immediately! This is a time when my character is being built up and strengthened. I know if I get through this, it will simply build my spiritual muscles for future difficult life circumstances. When I remember all that I have gone through and how God has delivered me every time, I am able to praise him.
Jeremiah 29: 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Amen.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Wow- You remind me of my mother’s hero who she listens to all the time- Joni Erikson- Tada. ( No Idea if I spelled it right) but anyway you sound much like her. Amazing testimony….
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I think you spelled it exactly right! I just call her JET. She is also my hero. I’ve read a couple of books and she has a Bible with devotionals. Thank you for reading my blog and for your encouraging words.
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God is clearly using you in a similar fashion. It takes great faith to choose to praise in tribulation. Ill be sharing your blog..tj
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Thank you!
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Your welcome and I know it does not make days easier. I have my own struggles that are not physical. One day at a time.
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Wow, Terr! Gee Whiz! I don’t know where to begin! Some may or may not have had that “Elijah” experience, that ““I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life;” experience. Giving up to the point of no longer having the desire to even live, without taking your own life! It is tough and it takes refocusing on God to reverse the hold. I’ve been there. I was tired of serving, tired of trying, tired of suffering! God’s spirit convicted me by showing me how I was being ungrateful. All I could think of was what I didn’t have and how it wasn’t fair. I didn’t see at one time how I was being blessed in my mess. I guess I was telling God if I can’t have it my way, then just take my life. He fixed it to where I had to cry out to Him and thank Him and praise Him even when things didn’t go the way I thought they should. I began to remember what He had done and I realized I didn’t think I could get through those times either, but He brought me through. I began to stand on His promises. That’s all I have. Otherwise I’m standing on sinking sand. That’s a struggle! Thank you my dear for allowing God to use you in a mighty way. Thank you for your obedience to share! It enriches my soul every time!
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Great thought. No doubt Elijah was a highly temperamental sort of fellow to say the least. Someone remarked that the Lord never used Elijah again in any great capacity after his little “pity party” following Jezebel’s threat against his life. Recall that Moses suffered a similiar fate after striking the rock in anger, instead of speaking to it as the Lord commanded him to.
Great to hear your good news Terri. You are in our thoughts & prayers. Blessings!
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So many good examples in the Bible of our humanness. Thank you, David.
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Thank you, Terri… reading your blog today was such timely encouragement! Thanks for your faithfulness to the Lord and your willingness to share your struggle. It helped this tired traveler get back on the path today 🙂
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I’m glad. We do that for one another. I love my blogging community.
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Terri, you are amazing and an inspiration to all who know you and/or read your posts. May God continue to bless you and train you up. You’re His mighty warrior. He is using you to reveal His glory, power, and love to others.
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It doesn’t feel like I’m a warrior, at times, but I’m thankful God is still with me whether I am fighting or napping.
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Terri you continue to humble and inspire me. God has given you a special anointing and a special strength. I continue to pray.
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It’s funny to think that when I started writing this blog, I had no idea how to wrap it up and make it positive. The Spirit is a powerful thing.
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Terri, thank you so much for this post, even though it was not the one that I had hoped for. But it was MORE than I could have hoped for in terms of the bedrock truth that God has poured into your heart. We all want a resounding “yes” to our prayers but we have to wrestle and find the strength and blessings that are hidden in the “no” and the “not yet.” He is our loving Father and all of His answers are given with the same love.
Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this in my present suffering. You are my Mentor!
I love you, Betsy
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I’m so sorry to hear the chair has not helped with your pain yet. Perhaps the new position will take time for your body to adjust and with tweaking the chair itself, then the pain will be eased. Your faith and your strength to persevere encourages me, just like I know it will encourage those patients you will mentor. You are planting seeds of faith and encouragement every time you write in your blog. And I’m sure you do the same to those you meet in person. You are incredible and inspiring. Thank you for always sharing your journey and your faith!
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Wendymajor65@gmail.com
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A beautiful testimony, Terri! You are an inspiration to those of us not in wheelchairs as well as those who find themselves in situations similar to yours.
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Reblogged this on thotsfromgeorge and commented:
A reblog from a friend. This, I believe needs to be read by all of us. I certainly appreciate it. What happens when we pray, many pray with expectations of a great answer from God, and the answer received is not what was expected. Read on!
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Thank you, George.
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Thank you for another great post Terri, based on Scripture so we can learn and be drawn closer to God, even when our expectations are not God’s plans at the moment.
Reblogged, and shared on fb, believing we all can learn and be blessed by God through you.
God Bless you Terri!
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Praying, Terri. It’s been a while–good to read the update on your journey!
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