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Tag Archives: Anxiety

Keep Praising

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I posted this on June 29, 2015. I’ve come a long way but am still convicted when I read these words. I must praise God all the time.

At the time this was written, I didn’t want to be paralyzed and I was confused about why it happened. Today I am grateful for this wheelchair and the lessons I’ve learned as a result of my injury. I praise God for working on me the last four years to get me to the point of gratitude for my paralysis. Read the rest of this entry

Thirst for God

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I have been feeling so down the past week or so and I can’t pinpoint why. I feel more sad than usual when I look around this facility and see people who are confused, lost, or feel left behind by their family and friends. I can tell there is something bothering me but I’m not sure what it is, so I’ve been praying about it and asking God to reveal it to me. Read the rest of this entry

The Hollow of His Hand

As I was being placed in my wheelchair this morning, one dominant thought crossed my mind: I am not in the mood for this day. I barely got any sleep over the past couple nights because my roommate kept waking up and calling out for help. This morning when I got bathed it was chilly in my room so my body felt even chillier. I hate a cold bath. I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulder, but today it feels like the pain has been turned up a few notches.

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God’s Perfect Plan

When I think back to August 2013, when I fainted in my kitchen and woke up paralyzed, I remember a flurry of emotions. In the beginning, of course, there was the initial shock and disbelief about the devastation that had occurred in my life. While I was in the ICU at UNC, Read the rest of this entry

Radiance

As a kid, I felt so flawed. I was really skinny and short. I looked so much younger than the other kids. One day I wore shorts to school and I got teased really badly about my skinny legs and knobby knees. I was so ashamed, and unless I was at gymnastics practice, I didn’t wear shorts in public for a long time. Even in high school and college, I felt like my legs were ugly and I didn’t want to show them. Read the rest of this entry

Remain in Him

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John 15: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 

When I read this verse, it reminds me of the early days after my injury. It was the first time in my life I realized that I could do nothing.

When I think back to almost 4 years ago, I remember the terror I felt when I woke up lying on my kitchen floor unable to move. After lying helplessly for almost 3 days , I was raced off to the ICU where I had surgeries to repair my broken vertebrae and insert a feeding tube and trachea. Because of the apparatus in and around my throat and larynx, I was also unable to speak.

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Praise

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I’ve spent the last three weeks without my computer. The first week was okay, even though I had nothing to do besides watch TV. The second week I started to become anxious and depressed because I didn’t have what I consider to be my lifeline. My laptop is the only way I can read the Bible, write my blog, and communicate with people through email, texting and phone calls.

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