I posted this on June 29, 2015. I’ve come a long way but am still convicted when I read these words. I must praise God all the time.
At the time this was written, I didn’t want to be paralyzed and I was confused about why it happened. Today I am grateful for this wheelchair and the lessons I’ve learned as a result of my injury. I praise God for working on me the last four years to get me to the point of gratitude for my paralysis.
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Last week I spent three days confined to my bed because my wheelchair was broken. Being confined to my bed sucks the life out of me. When this happens I have too much time to think. Because I can’t move I get anxious and paranoid and feel like I want to jump out of my skin. I get deeply depressed.
It’s inevitable during these times that I question God and his plan for me. I feel like this is so unfair and I don’t understand. If he would only give me a hint of why this is happening. But I just seem to go from one day to the next confused about my life circumstances, and I usually feel very, very angry.
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise–the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. — Hebrews 13:15
It is important for me to continually praise God even in the midst of suffering. It is important for me to share with others my praise of and trust in God. What is happening to me has a greater purpose than what I can see. One day I will praise God for these life circumstances. I have to hold on from day to day and focus on things above and not what’s happening here on earth. Easier said than done!
The day my injury occurred in 2013, I prayed diligently (earlier in the day) for God to do something to help me to connect with him. At that point in time I definitely felt like I couldn’t get my life together enough to stay focused on what was important. I had been sober for three years and yet I still wasn’t content. I’m not saying God “did” this to me after that cry for help earlier in the day, but I do believe he allowed it to happen and it has a purpose. No matter how it came about, I don’t want to go back to my former way of life. I was miserable and confused. But I don’t want to be paralyzed either. I’m still miserable and confused.
…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. — Philippians 2:13
The Lord said, “Surely I will set you free for purposes of good… — Jeremiah 15:11
God has a good purpose in all of this. For this reason, I can praise him. One day I will be set free. There will be no more pain. There will be no more sadness. There will be no more confusion. For this reason, I can praise him.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Praise God for all He has done for you throughout the last 4 years! You cannot comprehend what He is going to do in the next 4 years and more, but He will use it for His glory. Let’s watch and see what He has in store for you!
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Terri – a well-established pastor was a guest speaker in one of my Bible school classes. I will never forget the words he spoke on that particular Saturday morning:
“God is more interested in what He can do In You than what He can do Through You”.
God’s yardstick of measuring things is not the same one we use to measure things. Keep living for God and keep your faith strong. One day you will understand.
Be Blessed!
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I like that quote! That’s a keeper. Thanks, David.
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So good to hear from you sister. This post is so encouraging. Your testimony, “more precious than gold”, is a constant reminder to so many hearts that: God can enable and strengthen, God has a purpose, this life is passing but His rewards are eternal.
I’m so grateful for you Terri! 🌹
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And I’m so grateful for you, Lisa. I’m so thankful to have met you through our blogs. I love my sisters!
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Great post Terri. I too have found that giving thanks and praising Him when I don’t understand the whys helps me. It keeps my eyes on Him, and not my rampant thoughts. I hold on to Romans 8:28 and Ephesians 3:20, trying to let go of control and just trust God do His thing.
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Romans 8:28 is a favorite of mine. Thanks for reading my blog.
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This is really good, Terri. It is so important to praise God – especially when we don’t feel like it.
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Always good to hear from you, Bill! I really enjoyed your last post. I hope you’re doing well. Is it possible for your wife to make a post letting us know when you are hospitalized so we can pray for you? This may be something you don’t want to do and I can understand that.
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Thank you, Terri.
It’s ironic that you asked me about that – one of my goals for this week is teaching Mary how to write a post in case I’m hospitalized or die. You never know, right 🙂 I will do this. Have you designated someone to do this for you in case you are sick?
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I’m so convicted that you even had to ask this! I will do it this week!
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Terri, Your faith and resilience is inspiring to me. You definitely are a shining light being used by God to inspire others. Thank you for always reminding me that it isn’t just about my day to day life being perfect or trouble-free, but no matter what I face to continue faithfully on the path God has marked our for me, while remaining faithful and praising Him. xoxox
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I was thinking Terri…
I would say that nearly all of us question God from time to time. All of us are sometimes placed in positions or situations that we never have chosen for ourselves, yet here we are.
To our way of thinking, life is very unfair at times, and how can we keep from asking God “where were you when I needed you”? I know I’ve done it on several occasions.
Like you Terri, many of us have been dealt circumstances for which there is no understanding. They come in many different forms,such as your own circumstances. Others of us have been struck down by abuse, divorce, the death of a loved one, or any number of other maladies. When I think about it, I know precious few who have managed to escape some type of life altering situation.
What this has taught me is that there is a bigger question at stake here: “what will I do with the life God has given me”?
That is the driving force in my life today. What will I do with today? How will God get glory from me today? How can I make a difference in someone’s life today?
You are a great example of the answers to those questions. You exemplify the life of faith and trust in God that all of us should strive for.
Blessings to you my friend.
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Dear Terri, I continue to thank the Lord for you and your witness for Him. Reading this reminded of a post A Prescription for Praise which I think you will relate well to when you have time to read. I want to contact you about our next project. Much love and blessings for you this week.
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Terri, thank you for your article. I rarely understand why I have to go through some of the difficulties life throws my way, at least while I’m going through them. I, too, got clean and sober only to find the externalities of my life in worse shape than when I was using drugs and alcohol. That being said, the internal things, those pieces of me were being woven into this beautiful tapestry. I wouldn’t trade the difficulties of the last 13 1/2 years for all of the forty eight before them.
My wife loves to tell me that my life is a tapestry. I tend to look at the backside – a messy scramble of colored threads – and think of my life in the world as a such. However, if I turn the tapestry over I see this beautiful, handwoven (by God), picture of what life is really like. Sometimes it’s hard for me to turn the tapestry over, but once I do I’m filled with gratitude for the grace I’ve been given and the life I live.
I don’t always know what to say to others who are dealing with life on life’s terms, who have struggles I haven’t had to deal with. What I do know is, as my friend Jim always told me, “It’ll be okay when it’s over and if it’s not okay, it’s not over…”
Thank you for your writing and for your gratitude. It makes my day even better than it was before. God Bless!
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What a beautiful analogy! Thank you.
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