When I think back to where my life was before finding God, I was living in darkness and despair. My three years in college were the most miserable and confusing days of my life. I was drinking on a daily basis and my goal in life was getting the attention of men so I could feel worthwhile. It was a never ending chase and it always ended up in defeat. I was convinced there was something wrong with me and that I was unlovable. Read the rest of this entry
Tag Archives: Recovery
If this pandemic had happened when I was able-bodied, seven years ago, I would be in big trouble. I was fiercely independent and always lived by myself. Before returning to my church in 2013, I didn’t keep company with a lot of friends. As an introvert, I was more comfortable being alone in my home with my laptop and my cats.
Getting back to being in big trouble, as a recovering alcoholic who had lapsed going to meetings, the idea of social distancing would have certainly driven me to drink. Well, I would have driven myself to GET a drink. The fact that liquor stores are still open shows how much Americans need that liquid confidence; that elixir that brings about a false sense of peace. Read the rest of this entry
As the New Year is unfolding, I’ve been thinking about how grateful I am to have a relationship with God, and how grateful I am to be in this wheelchair. Nothing about my former way of life is appealing to me. I put together this comparison of what it was like then and what it’s like now. Read the rest of this entry
I wrote this essay to be included and a friend’s book.
I became a Christian in 1989 when I was 25 years old. I had never read the Bible and had no idea I could have a personal, life-changing relationship with God. Prior to my conversion, I had been an alcoholic for 10 years. I started drinking when I was 15, and by high school, I was drinking in the mornings. I remember I was always desperate for the drink. It’s all I ever thought about and the only thing I craved. My life was miserable. I felt so alone, so lost and so hopeless. I just assumed my life would always be that dismal. I knew something was missing. Read the rest of this entry
Today I have hope because I am focusing on the right things. But my trek to this point has been hard.
As many of you know, I’ve had a rough several months. I’ve been in and out of the ICU, spent time in a long term acute care facility, and, for a while, was not able to return to the facility that has been my home for five years. That was probably the worst part of this journey. The good news is, I’ve returned to my facility, where much of the staff is like family to me, and I’m close to my church folk and many loyal friends who visit me on a regular basis. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve been lying in bed almost 3 months now. I am feeling so agitated. I’m so used to getting up every day and getting into my wheelchair. I love having the freedom to go outside, to be able to smell the fresh air and look at the flowers in bloom during this time of year. I love leaning my chair back and letting the sun warm my face. It feels so good, and I miss it. I was unable to use my wheelchair at the hospital, and now I’m at a new place one hour from my home and my wheelchair has not yet been transported here. I look forward to finally getting it next week. Read the rest of this entry
I posted this on June 29, 2015. I’ve come a long way but am still convicted when I read these words. I must praise God all the time.
At the time this was written, I didn’t want to be paralyzed and I was confused about why it happened. Today I am grateful for this wheelchair and the lessons I’ve learned as a result of my injury. I praise God for working on me the last four years to get me to the point of gratitude for my paralysis. Read the rest of this entry