It seems like my hospitalizations are what inspire me to write my blog posts, and here is my latest episode! About a week ago, my wheelchair and I had a collision with my bed rail and it resulted in a lot of blood and a fractured tibia. After my knee cap swelled up to an extra-large size, we realized it was time for me to go to the hospital for x-rays.
Even though I went to the hospital to check on my broken bone, we suspected I had some type of infection because while I was there, I became feverish, nauseated, and had fluctuating blood pressure. What should have been a quick x-ray and return home, turned out to be a weeklong stay with IV antibiotics and scary drops in my blood pressure. As much as I hate lying motionless in a hospital bed, I had some wonderful revelations.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…
Our lives are full of ups and downs and this scripture teaches me that I should expect and accept that, of course we know it is not that easy. Sometimes we are full of joy – when a baby is born or a child graduates from high school. At other times we are full of heartache – with a looming divorce or a child becoming addicted to drugs. Sometimes we are physically broken down – a cancer diagnosis or the discovery of chronic illness.
In these times of darkness, our lives feel uprooted, and rightly so. We weep and we mourn and life feels unfair. I find myself at times asking God, “Why? Why? Why?” Yet I am learning, it is at these times that I can draw close to God because he hears me and wants to rebuild my faith.
Yes – he may heal me physically and I can blissfully dance. On the other hand, he may choose not heal my physical ailments for reasons I may never understand. But I am learning with every trial comes an opportunity for my growth and a closer walk with him.
Psalm 119: 67 Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. 68 You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.
James 1: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Armed with these new revelations, I realized it was a time for me to be a light to those around me. It would have been so easy for me to feel sorry for myself and stew in anger, but I kept in mind the Scripture below:
Matthew 5: 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Please do not think I am perfect, because I am not. I have my moments of self-pity and irritability. But I certainly felt more at peace when I chose to let my light shine. I thank my God for what he teaches me through both the challenging and joy filled times. I hope this post will encourage you to hold on and wait to see God’s renewal in your life.
2 Corinthians 4: 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Dear Terri, I seem to be directed to check WordPress when you have posted. Our struggles are not the same but they are connected. We are being sanctified and conformed to the image of His Son. As we live in fellowship with Him and all His family, He is preparing us for His glory. He is proving in these horrendous days whose are His. We are able to accept all things from His hand and praise Him as He continues to lead us in the path He has prepared for us. It is so good to hear from you dear Sister-in-Christ. Our Father’s love for us fills us more and more and draws us closer to Him so to love Him and each other. You are a blessing to me and others. I love you, Fran
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And I love you, Fran. I know you have spent a lot of days suffering over your loss and probably many other things. Thank you for how your faith encourages me.
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Terri, this is you: “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12.
You remind me of the bleeding woman who was healed. There were many people touching and crowding Jesus, but the woman who had faith to just touch his cloak received power from Jesus. He stopped to let her know that her faith had healed her and to go in peace. I have not reached your depth of faith. You have helped me see that with the acceptance or submission of what life brings us individually, believing God hears us, we determine the value of drawing near to God that brings the peace and light of God. I love and admire you. —Gayle
“Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20-21.
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Well I would adamantly disagree with you. You have been through your own dark nights to reach a depth of faith that many of us cannot imagine. I love you and I thank you for all that you teach me.
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I am sorry for what you have been going through. Continued prayers for you. Please let me know if you need anything. Miss you!
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Terri you continually amaze and inspire me with your attitude, your beautiful writing and your quick smile. I’m so glad that I’ve gotten to know you better and look forward to a very long friendship!
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I feel the same about you, Susan.
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Hi Terri! You don’t know me but my name is Chris and I am very dear friends with Gayle Knutson. She is a big sister and lifeline to me and she forwarded this post to me. I appreciate your vulnerability and the power of the scriptures you shared. My 14 year old struggles with chronic illness and this really hit home for me. I’m going to share this with him. Thank you so much❤️.
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Hi Chris! It is so nice to meet you. Let’s stay in touch and let me know if there’s ever anything I can do to help your daughter.
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Terri, hearing from you and reading your posts is always a joy. I’m sorry for the latest hospital stay but I join you in praising God for the sweet transformation that comes with yielding to His plan and purpose despite our limited understanding. The LORD bless you and make His face shine upon you.
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Thank you for your continued encouragement. God bless.
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Terri, as I sit here, with what I think is a serious health issue, diverticulitis, there is always someone going through more difficult times! Thank you for these reminders that this is when I need to draw close to God and not ignore him, like he has nothing to do with me. I just got back from Guatemala and my temporary sickness made me wonder how accessable are the doctors for the Guatamalan people? I am truly grateful for my resources and having God close by me. I am sorry for what you just went through, but happy to connect with you.
Melanie.
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Thank you for reading my blog, Melanie! I am grateful for your persevering heart.
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Dear Terri, one thing is clear to me, your body may be weak and sick. But your spirit is very much alive. From inside a broken vessel, your voice comes out strong. You sing as you speak! You are a miracle money cannot buy! God bless you, sister!
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Thank you for your encouragement, your sister.
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Terri, the longer I live, the more I go through trials and see people I love suffer, the more I long for the day we all receive our final healing – new bodies! Meanwhile, we are God’s treasure in earthen vessels. Thanks for your perseverance and for sharing your insights with us. ❤️
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Hi Terri! It is a pleasure and so good to read your postings! Glory to God for your obedience to Him even as you continue to journey through the purpose He designed for you. Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to witness to the lost and those who need a reassurance. I miss you and pray that God continues to shine His grace and mercy upon you. I love you and always will. I was reorganizing my cubicle the other day and found the picture of the 2 meerkats that reminded us of us! LOL! Brought a smile to my face and a chuckle to my tummy! I would love to catch up with you! Much love!
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I loved that picture because it really did remind me of the two of us in uncontrollable laughter. I would love to catch up with you as well. Would you like to schedule a phone call or zoom call?
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Yes! I would love to schedule a zoom call. I can schedule from this end if you’d like. How & when is good for you?
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Terri, it was so good to hear from you (I see I missed your last post in December!). I regularly pray the words of James 1:2-4, along with the two verses that follow 2 Corinthians 4:1 6 in which Paul calls suffering a “light, momentary affliction” that is preparing us for “the weight of glory.” When I do I often think of you. Your perspective on such “light” sufferings (in comparison to the weight of everlasting glory) is so powerful and so full of experience-based insight into these verses are saying. God is using you to speak truths few others can authentically convey! Blessings forever, dear friend.
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Thank you, Mitch! I love those two verses – they really put things in perspective. Also when Paul proclaimed, “when I am weak then I am strong.”
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Amen!
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I am always glad when I see your posts come through my email, knowing that it will be a faith-building message. Thank you for sharing your struggles and also how to “fight the good fight” when you’re in the trenches. Loved the scriptures you referenced – thank you! Always in my prayers ….
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