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Tag Archives: Chronic pain

Delightful Inheritance

During my prayer time last night, I found myself shaking my fist at God in frustration. Thankfully He didn’t strike me with lightning because He is merciful and full of lovingkindness. Plus, it motivated me to write this blog. I am open to the idea that what I’m about to tell you was part of His plan for me. It’s possible He allowed me to go through the events I’m going to share to help me grow and become more holy. And to think it all started with the failure of permanent eyeliner.

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God’s Love for Us

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For many of you that read my blog, you know that I am paralyzed from the shoulders down and live in a long-term care facility. My permanent aide of the last five years has picked up different responsibilities so others are having to fill in. There has been very little consistency in the aides that are now taking care of me over the three shifts that have to be covered. It’s difficult to have someone different every day see me in ways that make me feel super vulnerable.

These changes in my caregiving routine have caused me a lot of insecurity and anxiety. These feelings are amplified during my nightly battle with insomnia and have caused me to experience a wicked depression. Some mornings I feel like I just can’t breathe and it’s difficult to focus on doing the right things.

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Go in the Strength You Have

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For those that read my blog regularly, you know I’ve been taking classes. I’m happy to say I passed my course even though it was so difficult for me since I have very little knowledge of biblical history. I am so relieved I chose to persevere when I wanted to quit so often. That’s how I can describe my life before choosing to follow God, I was a quitter. If this wheelchair has taught me anything, it’s taught me to persevere. Even so, I can still doubt God.

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