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To Live Is Christ

As I was laying in the ICU again last week, God gave me a new perspective that I would like to share with you.

Praise be to God for my wheelchair. I believe through this trial, he is saving my soul. I believe through this trial, he is making me whole. God is making me into the woman I always wanted to be — maybe not externally, but by leaps and bounds internally. All those years I felt sorry for myself and tried to drink my troubles away because I felt so empty inside. I’d rather be sitting in this wheelchair than sitting in a dark apartment drunk on wine. I’d rather be sitting in this wheelchair than mindlessly going to work every day wondering who I am and what is my purpose; always wanting more, more, more from my life. I’d rather be sitting in this wheelchair than living as a lost soul in this world without a relationship with God, stuck in a rut with no way out, wondering why am alive?

Philippians 1:18 – 21 Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.  20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Christ is my life. If I didn’t have a relationship with God through Jesus, I would never survive what I have survived so far as a quadriplegic. I would have no reason to want to live. I would have no hope. I would have no good news to share with others. I would have no peace. Because of my relationship with God, I am able to face each day with courage and with perseverance. Not perfectly, but it can be done. Because of my relationship with God, I have something to share with others that might amaze them. They see me sitting in a wheelchair each day, and yet I have a smile and a kind word to share. I am by no means perfect. Sometimes on bad days, I share unkind words. But God’s power is still at work despite my weakness.

Because of my relationship with God, I have deep fulfilling relationships within the fellowship of believers. I have brothers and sisters, soldiers of the cross, that pray for me and with me. We are able to encourage and challenge one another as we run our races to the finish line.

I am no saint. I have not arrived. I have many bad days when everything I’ve said above seems to disappear. Yet I realize none of it has disappeared. I’m just having a bad day. If David had days when his soul felt downcast within him (Psalm 42), I can have those days, too. My calling (and yours too, I suspect), is to remember that trying situations are for our deliverance, and not meant to destroy us.

To live is Christ.

About Terri Nida

In August 2013, I fainted in my kitchen and woke up paralyzed from the shoulders down. I am still trying to make sense of all this, but one thing I know is that God is with me and he loves me.

23 responses »

  1. Praise God for the fresh perspective He is giving to you, Terri. May the Holy Spirit anoint and empower you to be who God created you to be and to do what He has purposed for you to do!

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  2. Your words bring new perspective and insight for those of us who have different struggles. Praising God for having our paths cross. This will show how old I am, but there was an old Aqua Velva commercial with the essence of the storyline being “Thanks, I needed that!” I tell you the same.

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  3. It is so good to hear from you! We have been praying for you everyday. I was a bit concerned after reading ‘One Smooth Stone’ but the Lord truly answered prayer and once again you’ve refreshed the brethren. I may like to quote part or all of this post if that’s OK (with link to your site). May the Lord continue to pour into and through you. 🌹🌹🌹

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  4. Wow. This is an amazing perspective. I want to remember these words (from you and from God!) when I have a “down” day or am tempted to feel sorry for myself. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart. I need to come visit more and bring others with me; our lives would all be different. Love you!

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  5. Oh, sweet girl, this is SO precious to me. I don’t know what day it was…I think maybe Tuesday as I drove to work, God put you on my heart. And I asked him to give you a view of joyover your hard challenge like a friend of mine has for Parkinson’s. And oh my! Here it is. What a precious piece for me to read. So thankful God brought our paths across so I can learn from you. much love and thankfulness, bj

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  6. Pingback: What Kind of Grass Are You Eating? | theburninglampdotcom

  7. Beautiful words and perspective for all who know you and read your blog. Thank you for sharing, Terri!

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  8. Gretchen Van Gelder Casey

    Dear Terri – as I feel sorry for myself because I ache from surgeries, or it’s so hoy, or it’s not raining and the grass is burned up & others are crying because they are flooded with too much rain, or I’m tired and grouchy – I quickly come back to reality when I think of you every single day – knowing you wouldn’t change places with a complaining old lady, wakes me up real fast – I read your beautiful Diary and know you spend your days trying to be positive and you are such an inspiration – we have to take life as it comes, no matter how hard it hits. I’ve just come from visiting best friends who lost their darling 13-yr old precious daughter to a blood clotting disease – strangely enough, I start thinking – I wonder if you would trade places with her and I wonder if they would have their little girl trade places with you. I really get deep thoughts when tragedy strikes and it won’t leave me. But you always bring me out of what depression I have. You are the best – I don’t know anyone who gives their all the way you do. We can still laugh at some of the crazy things that went on at work. I love visiting with you. Anxious to get back over there to catch up. I need you in my life! Love and hugs, g

    Sent from my iPhone

    Gretchen Van Gelder Casey

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  9. Doreen a Mcmanus

    Though I am in louisianna, you are so often still in my prayers and thoughts..I think you are right….God ihas always been for you…love doreen

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  10. Your strength and courage amazes me! Thank you for allowing Jesus to rule in your heart!

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  11. Lynn passed on your blog for me to read. What a beautiful writer you are sharing what God has given and shown you. The raw and realness of life; the greatness, ickyness, and unattractiveness. Thank you for sharing. What may I pray for you?

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  12. I thank God for shining His light so brightly through you, Terri. So much of His wisdom, love, beauty, perseverance, honesty, and goodness is reflected through you and your writing. As it says in Number 6:25, the Lord has truly made His face to shine upon you. May He bless you and keep you. I’m praying for you always and thanking God for you always as well 🙂

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  13. I think you are amazing.

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  14. Terri, I see so much of God’s beauty and honesty shine through you and your words
    of love, encouragement, and spiritual revelation. Truly you are a bright light shining for Christ in the midst of your suffering and you are a bright light in all of our lives. I thank God for you, I am praying for you and as it says in Numbers 6:25, I pray that the Lord continues to keep making His face to shine upon you 🙂

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  15. Hi Terr! Thank you for allowing the Holy Spirit to work through you. Thank you for not holding back your thoughts, your words, your blessings, your suffering. Thank you for your honesty and your testimony which is purposed for us to share with others. When I read your blog, I usually settle in like I’m reading a good voice. I can hear your voice…your laugh which I’ve always loved. I’m really loving the last paragraph of this post. I thank God for you and thanking you for God! Much love always!

    Angie

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  16. Hi Terri, Thank you for sharing the miracle of you. I love reading what you write. I have used writing as a tool to get through difficult things too. I just published a book called Giving Paws: Having a Service Dog for a Hidden Disability. It’s an expression of my journey with hope and faith. Would you like to read it? I can send a PDF or E-pub if you like. Thank you again for all you give to the world. God bless you. Martha

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  17. I am a recovering alcoholic as well. God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves…Love is just Love…no matter what It looks like. Or how It manifest…I found that the disease of addiction is a living hell…finding internal salvation through AA… and other sources continue to bless my soul…strengthen other young women who are recovering because of my journey…this great joyful Grace mystery continues to
    Let’s me know that we are indeed One as Christ prayed in John 17….
    Be strong in Him
    He is our Hope…

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  18. Thanks for dropping by my blog & for the “like” Terri. Sounds like you are surely going through a very difficult time. I will put you on my prayer list and pray for the Lord to do something special for you & for your health. Be Blessed!

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  19. Very encouraging and beautiful perspective on life! Thank you and God bless! 🙂

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