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Tag Archives: Depression

My Story

I wrote this essay to be included and a friend’s book.

I became a Christian in 1989 when I was 25 years old. I had never read the Bible and had no idea I could have a personal, life-changing relationship with God. Prior to my conversion, I had been an alcoholic for 10 years. I started drinking when I was 15, and by high school, I was drinking in the mornings. I remember I was always desperate for the drink. It’s all I ever thought about and the only thing I craved. My life was miserable. I felt so alone, so lost and so hopeless. I just assumed my life would always be that dismal. I knew something was missing. Read the rest of this entry

Put Your Hope in God

Today I have hope because I am focusing on the right things. But my trek to this point has been hard.

As many of you know, I’ve had a rough several months. I’ve been in and out of the ICU, spent time in a long term acute care facility, and, for a while, was not able to return to the facility that has been my home for five years. That was probably the worst part of this journey. The good news is, I’ve returned to my facility, where much of the staff is like family to me, and I’m close to my church folk and many loyal friends who visit me on a regular basis. Read the rest of this entry

Rejoice in the Trials

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I’ve been lying in bed almost 3 months now. I am feeling so agitated. I’m so used to getting up every day and getting into my wheelchair. I love having the freedom to go outside, to be able to smell the fresh air and look at the flowers in bloom during this time of year. I love leaning my chair back and letting the sun warm my face. It feels so good, and I miss it. I was unable to use my wheelchair at the hospital, and now I’m at a new place one hour from my home and my wheelchair has not yet been transported here. I look forward to finally getting it next week.  Read the rest of this entry

Power of Hardships

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It’s been a long month. I’ve spent more than 4 weeks in a hospital setting, and many days laying in the ICU. As a quadriplegic, I am unable to move in the bed or get up and walk around, so lying completely still for days and days causes a lot of anxiety and depression. I feel like I want to jump out of my skin because I get so crazy. I was finally transferred out of the hospital but into another long-term acute care facility (LTAC). An LTAC is basically a step down hospital for people who are too sick to return home or back to a facility, but can’t stay in a real hospital. Read the rest of this entry

Keep Praising

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I posted this on June 29, 2015. I’ve come a long way but am still convicted when I read these words. I must praise God all the time.

At the time this was written, I didn’t want to be paralyzed and I was confused about why it happened. Today I am grateful for this wheelchair and the lessons I’ve learned as a result of my injury. I praise God for working on me the last four years to get me to the point of gratitude for my paralysis. Read the rest of this entry

Thirst for God

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I have been feeling so down the past week or so and I can’t pinpoint why. I feel more sad than usual when I look around this facility and see people who are confused, lost, or feel left behind by their family and friends. I can tell there is something bothering me but I’m not sure what it is, so I’ve been praying about it and asking God to reveal it to me. Read the rest of this entry

Finding Gratitude

Lately I’ve been thinking about all I have to be grateful for, even as I sit in this wheelchair. When I think about what my life was like before this injury occurred, I am even more thankful for my current circumstances. This paralysis has given me a chance to finally live authentically, a chance to have a truly meaningful relationship with God, and an opportunity to have deep and abiding relationships with others. Read the rest of this entry