Last week I spent three days confined to my bed because my wheelchair was broken. Being confined to my bed sucks the life out of me. When this happens I have too much time to think. Because I can’t move I get anxious and paranoid and feel like I want to jump out of my skin. I get deeply depressed.
It’s inevitable during these times that I question God and his plan for me. I feel like this is so unfair and I don’t understand. If he would only give me a hint of why this is happening. But I just seem to go from one day to the next confused about my life circumstances. Dazed and confused. And very, very angry.
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise–the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. — Hebrews 13:15
It is important for me to continually praise God even in the midst of suffering. It is important for me to share with others my praise of and trust in God. What is happening to me has a greater purpose than what I can see. One day I will praise God for these life circumstances. I have to hold on from day to day and focus on things above and not what’s happening here on earth. Easier said than done!
The day this happened, I prayed diligently for God to do something to help me to connect with him. I definitely felt like I couldn’t get my life together enough to stay focused on what was important. I’m not saying God “did” this to me. But I do believe he allowed it and it has a purpose. No matter how it came about, I don’t want to go back to my former way of life. I was miserable and confused. But I don’t want to be paralyzed either. I’m still miserable and confused.
…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. — Philippians 2:13
The Lord said, “Surely I will set you free for purposes of good… — Jeremiah 15:11
God has a good purpose in all of this. For this reason, I can praise him. One day I will be set free. There will be no more pain. There will be no more sadness. There will be no more confusion. For this reason, I can praise him.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
It’s a crazy thought, to praise God in the midst of trials, but praise God you are doing it. I’m sitting here trying to absorb the idea of “cutting off the right arm” if it causes you to sin. The hardest part is trying to figure out how to “doodle” a response to such violence. I’m stalling and reading other people’s posts, yours inspired me in a mixed feeling sort of way. I’ve experienced God’s answered prayer–things getting worse–it makes no sense at all in my humble, human opinion! But If the “cutting off” is what saves us for eternity and makes us perfect and beautiful in God’s eyes, than it is a good thing. I say this with such mixed feelings because my heart aches for you and your situation, but at the same time, would you be writing posts about faith in God in the midst of trials if this had never happened? I doubt it. I’m praying for you.
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Thank you for your comment and insight. I believe this is my narrow gate and I am grateful for that.
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Dear dear Terri, you are praising Him in the storm. In the hurricane. In the drought. It’s easy to praise him in the good and easy times of life. But you are reaching down (and up) with pure, gutsy faith. That is the faith that God wants us all to have. Someday you will receive a great reward. “Well done good and FAITHFUL servant. ”
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines, even though the olive crop fails, and fields lie empty and Barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as sure footed as a deer, able to tread upon the Heights.”
Habakkuk 3 17-19 Terri, you have ‘even though’ faith, ‘yet’ faith, ‘nevertheless’ faith.
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