As I was being placed in my wheelchair this morning, one dominant thought crossed my mind: I am not in the mood for this day. I barely got any sleep over the past couple nights because my roommate kept waking up and calling out for help. This morning when I got bathed it was chilly in my room so my body felt even chillier. I hate a cold bath. I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulder, but today it feels like the pain has been turned up a few notches.
This morning I am cranky. I am frustrated. I am aching. The reality is, I’m not only aching on the outside, mornings like these can crush my optimism and hope, and can throw me into a depression. Although it can be a challenge, I have to remember that even in my darkest days, God is with me.
Psalm 139: 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 23: 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
The truth is, I have some deep dark fears. I often fear that someone is coming into my room at night and doing terrible things to me. After the recent news articles about the woman who got pregnant even though she had been comatose for the last 10 years, really got me going. I also fear that I will lose my voice and that’s the way I communicate to my computer to write these blogs or just send emails and many other things.
Isaiah 43: 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Even if those events occur, God is still with me! And I have some very close friends that don’t have their voices and yet write beautiful blogs and operate their computers without a hitch.
There are so many little annoyances in my life from day to day. Living in a facility brings a whole new set of challenges. I get sick of the food. Occasionally I’ll get a caregiver with a disrespectful attitude. I spend every day surrounded by people in their 80s and 90s who suffer from dementia or other diseases that rob the elderly of who they are. It can be very sad at times; and sometimes I wonder if that will happen to me.
Colossians 3: 3Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
I am human, so I will think about these things at times, but I am determined to pray to see the full picture – that one day I will be appearing with Christ in glory. I must make every effort to set my heart and mind on things above and not things of this world. I have a unique opportunity to stay in the Word throughout the day because I do not work; this will certainly help me to set my heart and mind on the right things. The challenge is actually doing it!
In this world, we will have hard times. Some of us will have difficulties with our spouse, within our families, in college, at work, to name just a few. Sometimes we just wake up feeling crummy and have a bad day. That can also be a trial.
John 16: 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
As we pass through trials and tribulations, we should remember that Jesus assured us long ago that our paths would be bumpy at times. We will feel both emotional and physical pain. We will have fears, some irrational and some warranted. Our God is bigger than all of it.
Isaiah 40:12 12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?
If our father can hold the waters of the world in the hollow of his hand, what can he not do? He is always with us. He is all-powerful. Our job is to simply persevere with the tools he has given us.
Hebrews 12: 1 And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.