I just returned from a three-day visit to Duke Hospital for an infection. They weren’t sure if it was pneumonia or a bad UTI, so they treated me with the strongest antibiotics available and I am feeling so much better. A three-day stay is just a flyover for me. I began to think about the hospital stays I’ve had over the last eight years and some of them have lasted months. When I think back, I am surprised that I had the patience to lay there, unable to get into my wheelchair, unable to access my laptop, and enduring needle pokes, examinations, and other invasive procedures.
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God’s Love for Us
For many of you that read my blog, you know that I am paralyzed from the shoulders down and live in a long-term care facility. My permanent aide of the last five years has picked up different responsibilities so others are having to fill in. There has been very little consistency in the aides that are now taking care of me over the three shifts that have to be covered. It’s difficult to have someone different every day see me in ways that make me feel super vulnerable.
These changes in my caregiving routine have caused me a lot of insecurity and anxiety. These feelings are amplified during my nightly battle with insomnia and have caused me to experience a wicked depression. Some mornings I feel like I just can’t breathe and it’s difficult to focus on doing the right things.
Read the rest of this entryGo in the Strength You Have
For those that read my blog regularly, you know I’ve been taking classes. I’m happy to say I passed my course even though it was so difficult for me since I have very little knowledge of biblical history. I am so relieved I chose to persevere when I wanted to quit so often. That’s how I can describe my life before choosing to follow God, I was a quitter. If this wheelchair has taught me anything, it’s taught me to persevere. Even so, I can still doubt God.
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