Over the last two weeks I have felt completely useless. I experienced a wicked depression and did not bother to reach out to others and ask for help. I also spent very little time in the Bible and in prayer. Because my chronic low blood pressure caused me to feel dizzy and lethargic, it was difficult to sit up and use my laptop. The longer time I spent away from things that would normally nourish my faith, such as God’s word, prayer, and fellowship with others, the more I began to question if I could be a tool for God with the physical and mental challenges I face. But we all know you do not have to have a disability or mental health diagnosis to feel broken down and useless at times.
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COMPLETION OF THE GOOD PLAN
For the past couple of months, I have had pressure sores on my backside and it has required me to stay in bed. When I cannot roll around in my wheelchair and get outside, I start to feel so isolated and depressed. Of course I thought I was “good” with everything, but the anger over my situation began to boil over during the last week or so. I literally screamed at God last night about my hardships; but as usual, my morning study radically changed my outlook and bolstered my faith.
Read the rest of this entryGod Sees Us
Have you ever felt that God doesn’t see you? That maybe he is not aware of how deeply you are hurting? You wonder why he is not healing your physical pain. You wonder why he is not restoring a difficult relationship in your life. I have felt those very things, on and off, since I started my Christian journey in 1989. I felt these emotions as an able-bodied person and then as a wheelchair-bound person for the last 10 years. I want to share the story of Hagar to give encouragement to all of us.
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Diary of a Quadriplegic 