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It has been a long time since I have posted. I have had so many people check in with me to make sure I am alive and well. I want to let you know that I am getting better slowly after some long hospitalizations that weaved in and out of my hectic class schedules and caused me to withdraw from a couple of classes. Although I cannot help it when I get these septic infections, it is terribly discouraging to feel like I have to “quit” whatever I’m involved in at the moment.

My last hospitalization was the scariest of any I have experienced since I woke up in the ICU in 2013 after my neck was broken. This time around, because my infection was septic, I was unable to communicate with the doctors and even my family. I could understand what they were saying to me and I knew how I wanted to respond, I simply could not put it into words how to answer them.

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Wrestling With God

For the last several weeks I have been struggling to sleep, once again. I might go five or six days in a row sleeping only one to three hours per night. On top of that, in November I was hospitalized twice at Duke. I first went for a septic UTI, which kept me there almost a week. Then a week later, I had to go back for a blood infection which also kept me there for about a week. This caused me to miss an entire week of my class which really put me behind.

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Delightful Inheritance

During my prayer time last night, I found myself shaking my fist at God in frustration. Thankfully He didn’t strike me with lightning because He is merciful and full of lovingkindness. Plus, it motivated me to write this blog. I am open to the idea that what I’m about to tell you was part of His plan for me. It’s possible He allowed me to go through the events I’m going to share to help me grow and become more holy. And to think it all started with the failure of permanent eyeliner.

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