When I think back to where my life was before finding God, I was living in darkness and despair. My three years in college were the most miserable and confusing days of my life. I was drinking on a daily basis and my goal in life was getting the attention of men so I could feel worthwhile. It was a never ending chase and it always ended up in defeat. I was convinced there was something wrong with me and that I was unlovable.
I was aimless and failing my classes. I was tired all the time. I was deeply depressed and convinced my life would never get better. I was even more convinced that I didn’t deserve for it to be better. I began having anxiety attacks because I felt so much guilt and shame for how I was living. I didn’t know how to fix myself. I knew there was a God, but I knew nothing about a God that healed.
Psalm 30: 1 I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. 2 Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. 3 You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit.
I was working as a waitress when two women invited me to their church. There was something so different about them – a light in their eyes and a joy radiating from within. I wanted what they had. I began doing bible studies with these women, was baptized, and became a Christian. My life was infinitely better and God began to heal me.
By the grace of God, I was able to stop drinking – although I do recommend continuing a support group – and just by doing that my decision-making and outlook on life became more positive and self-preserving. God definitely brought me up from the realm of the dead and kept me from digging a deeper pit for myself. Things could’ve gotten so much worse for me. God has continued to heal me over the years I’ve been faithful to Him.
Psalm 103: 2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Although my life was radically better, filled with peace and godly contentment, I realized that my former way of life had left some deep emotional scars. Because I started drinking when I was 15 my emotional growth was stunted. I was very immature even up until my late twenties. I also had some things that happened in early childhood that left me with deep-seated shame and self-hatred. But as stated in Psalm 103, God continued to heal me and redeem my life from the pit.
Job 36: 15 But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. 16 “He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.
Living in a spacious place free from restriction is what I long for during this pandemic. It’s what we all long for right now. During this time, some of us are suffering and need to be healed. My personal afflictions during this time are fear of the future, selfishness, and a downcast heart (Psalm 42).
The facility where I live is completely locked down so no visitors can come in and we can’t go out. As of recently, they told the residents we are not allowed to leave our rooms. But I know God is speaking to me during this time of suffering. He is speaking to all of us and eager to rescue us from our distress. This is a time we should be desperate to pray and to thank God for whatever he is teaching us. When we are stretched, we are growing.
At times, I can’t sleep at night and negative thoughts begin to cycle through my brain. All the fearful thoughts come from things I just can’t control: the end of the pandemic and what life will be like afterwards, the lockdown of this facility, the state of the world, people killing people because they look different, and so much more.
What I can control in my life is my personal relationship with God. I praise God for the Scriptures that always tell me the truth and on which I can rely fully. Everything else in this world is subject to change, but God never changes. When it feels like our world is falling apart, it is in God we have to trust.
Psalm 18: 2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 46: 1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled) and do not be afraid.
From the time I first encountered God many years ago, until this very minute on this very day, I’ve needed to be restored physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’ve needed to be reminded of His love, His strength, and His protection. None of us can maneuver through life in these ever-changing times alone. We will all experience suffering and afflictions at time, but we have a God that heals.
Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Tremendous message, Terri. May our Lord graciously and abundantly bless you.
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Tremendous message, Terri. May the Lord graciously and abundantly bless you!
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Thank you Terri. Excellent teaching. The Lord is forever faithful. Blessings to you!
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A great testimony to the glory of God Terri.
May He continue to bless you and keep you and fill you with His peace.
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So true Terri. Our relationship with the One who is in control is everything. Praying for you. fyi – Groceries and Grace is coming up for renewal shortly, but I won’t be renewing it.
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You won’t be renewing it? So sad for us! I miss hearing from you!
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Great post, Terri. Like most of your posts, I can relate. I also relate to waking up in the middle of the night with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I will try to remember to pray for my friend Terri when I wake up. The world is a mess and so many are blind. I think it’s the Holy Spirit waking us up to pray and relieve us of our burden.
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Good to hear from you Terri, I’ve Been wondering and praying for you and Bill Sweeney during these times (as well as a few others).
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Terri, You are a marvellous creation of our Great God, an inspiration every time you post on this site. Many times, particularly with this writing today, I think you should be in front of a congregation sharing these Truths from God’s Word.
Today I am ever so thankful, and doubly blessed. Earlier today, I read the current post from Bill Sweeney, and he is always a blessing, and then I receive and read yours tonight, and you are always a blessing.
Reading from the two of you, since each of you are so personable, and close to Jesus, always puts me in a frame of mind of sitting down, having a cup of tea or coffee around a kitchen table, and chatting for hours about the goodness of God, all He has done, is doing currently in our lives.
Looking forward to meeting the two of you in Glory. Of course I realize there is going to be a huge crowd around each of you, but there will be many, many years 😀 there together, after we meet Jesus of course. Reading the faith stories from each of you, is exciting, spirit lifting, Christ honouring always. Thank you Terri. God Bless you, and fill you with His Spirit and Peace during these uncertain days of COVID.
The sure thing is, we are in His hands, and God is aware of all things, and He is in control.
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George – I can’t wait for that day and it can’t come soon enough! As always, thank you for being so encouraging about my blog posts. It inspires me to keep writing, led by the spirit.
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I always am amazed at how open you are…could so relate to your history…God is the one who helped me to stop drinking too. You remind me of Hab 3…though no figs on the vine, still I will rejoice in you, O God…
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Exactly what my heart needed to hear today. Thank you, Terri, for your transparency and truth. I love you! I’m looking forward to our next visit.
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Thanks for always giving the truth and keeping it real. Continue healing and holding the hand of Jesus. Love you..
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Dearest Terri, your blog spoke deeply to my heart. The Lord set my heart straight this morning, reading your post. Recently, I have been attacked in so many ways about my past. I started drinking at 14 and completely quit when I put my trust in the Lord.
I get to those dark moments and the enemy tries to lie again to me. You speaking about this made me realize anew how cunning the enemy is. THANK YOU.
I am praying for you this morning, dear friend … and praising God for you… I am so sorry about your isolation … I am hugging you!!!!!
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And now you have encouraged me! Thankfully the isolation doesn’t hurt so bad because I’m still in touch with people like you, my family, and my church family.
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Dear Terri, I live in Africa. We too are in a lockdown. Most people here are too poor to worry about the virus. They just say it does not exist. I am a (retired) doctor and a full time pastor. I know that COVID19 exists. When I gave my life to Christ, I made a vow to God that He should help me be friends with truth, with reality. I lived in an unreal world. I lied to myself and others just to feel better. Lies were my addiction. But after I got saved, I got bold enough to be able to embrace truth, no matter how I felt. I want to be in touch with God and with myself. I want to know God and to know myself. Each drop of truth frees me from false hopes and borrowed dreams. The Holy Spirit is truth has filled me. I love Him! I live my life one day at a time. Sometimes, one minute or second at a time. That attitude squeezes most of the anxiety from the daily living. I am a simple woman living miles away from you. I pray for you this evening. May my words add a little bit of healing to your soul. We are in this together. Just say: “It is well, with my soul”. It is well…
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Dear Terri, I asked some of my Facebook friends to pray for you. This is what I got:
Tony Kadiri O Lord Jesus , let your healing power fall afresh on your daughter Terri . You’re the balm of Gilead and healing is your children’s bread. You’re a covenant keeping God and your word is yea and amen. We vow to always give you all the glory and the testimony will be unto your name alone. Thank you Jesus , amen.
Uche Divine Obiaja Thank you Jesus for releasing your word of healing upon your daughter.there is no distance in the realm of the spirit.your word will accomplish your purpose in her life in Jesus name.
Mercy Ojeje Amen. God is faithful and will heal Terri. She will testify in Jesus name Amen.
Kathy Payne
🎶🙏🏻🎶
Jennifer Oke-ewiri Amen and so shall I be in jesus mighty name amen
Kingsley Chiemeke Sis Terri, by the stripes of Jesus you were healed over 2000yrs ago. So I join my own little faith with yours and trust the Lord for your healing & restoration. Be healed in Jesus name. Rise up and walk in Jesus name. Lord we vow to give you all the glory. Thank you Jesus.
Endurance Gbenedio Amen and Amen, thank YOU JESUS I’m Healed and it is well with my soul
Elina Emofuriata Elibryte-Okporu Our dear heavenly father in heaven, we give thanks for your child sister Terri, father I pray for your healing power to rest on her, heal her body,sprit and soul in Jesus name
Odiri Ideh Onyesom By His stripes you are healed by His death you can live in Jesus name.
Elohor Elu Heaven release it’s Devine healings upon you on all sides in Jesus mighty 🙏 name 🙏❣️😇
Mape Lopgor Solomon Amen and so shall it be in Jesus name amen
Frank Odemax Erurare Heavenly Father, You are God of possibilities, Lord King of glory heal your daughter Terri and take all the glory through Jesus Christ, amen
Ujiro Michelle Ibeh Olarinde Amen! It is well with my soul. I’m Healed. Thank you Jesus.
Evioghene Agoreyo Sis Terri, healing is God’s children’s bread, eat to your satisfaction and give Him the praise. Father we are indeed grateful for Your timely supplies. Hallelujah!!!
God’swill Igunbor It is well with my soul, oh Lord perfect your healing in the life of Terri.
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Beautiful post dear sister! So good to hear from you and know you’re ok. Always encouraging to remember God’s healing love and power. I am also, more and more, looking past this world, longing for that Wedding Banquet when the Bridegroom comes and calls us in!
We’re praying for you Terri, press on!
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Dear Terri, we praise the Lord again for His work and witness through you. Have a blessed week in Him. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Terri, for being so open and vulnerable about your life. There is a lot to be said for connecting with others and their struggles. I think that is what the psalms and the book of Job do for us. Steve and I love you dearly. Betsy
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Jehovah Rapha – God who heals. I’m so thankful for your reminder today that He is a holistic healer. He is able to heal every single part of us. Doctors are conduits the Lord May choose to heal our bodies (and sometimes our minds) but He – Only He is able to heal every single part of our being. For this, I am thankful.
I love this point you shared, Terri. “When we are stretched, we are growing.” It reminds me of the verse that says “it was good that I was afflicted…I learnt your laws.” Growing for me speaks for growing in the knowledge of who He is, and what He can do. He is, a God who heals. ❤️🤗🙏🏽
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Wonderful testimony and words/verses of encouragement, thank you Terri. It has been a difficult time for so many of us and I’m still dealing with lingering effects but I thank God for His healing power and ability to save and rescue us when we are in distress. Please continue to pray for me as I continue to do the same for you. I am hoping that much better days are ahead 🙂
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Wonderful post Terri. I have been praying for you through this pandemic. I miss seeing you and hope to see you soon!
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