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Thoughts on Mud and Prayer

The past couple of months have been a bumpy ride for me. I’ve had a lot of health issues that not only make me feel bad physically, but wear on my faith. The worst problem I’ve had has been low blood pressure. I’ve actually passed out in my wheelchair a couple of times. If my blood pressure drops, it is necessary for me to lean back in my wheelchair so my feet are above my heart. Sometimes my pressure will correct itself within a few minutes. But sometimes the whole day is wasted over nonstop periods of dizziness and headaches.

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Peace Please

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

I know this world cannot give me peace. Believe me, I’ve tried to get it from the world. Before I became a quadriplegic, I was always searching for something. I had run up my credit cards so I could have a closet full of clothes, new pieces of furniture, gym memberships, and more. And I was never satisfied. I searched for approval from boyfriends and bosses. I longed to have a sculpted body and spent time in the gym trying to perfect that.

When my accident occurred in August 2013, all of my worldly possessions were taken away. I now live in a skilled nursing facility which is like living in a hospital room. I have two pairs of shoes and very few clothes. I am completely dependent on the staff for everything. They take care of my hygiene. They feed me. They dress me. They exercise me.

I can do absolutely nothing by myself now except tell you what I’ve learned: Jesus is the only path to peace. And you don’t have to become paralyzed to accept this gift. It can start as early as right now.

One Day Closer

Every day I think about where I am–a nursing facility–and I ask myself, how can I get through this day? When I sit in the dining room, there are people drooling, sleeping instead of eating, babbling nonstop about nothing. My room is at the end of a long hallway with rooms on both sides. As you walk down the hall there are people yelling for help from their rooms. I think to myself, this is not where I’m supposed to be! Read the rest of this entry