The idea of persevering wears me out. I get very scared that I’ll have to live in this body for several more years. I wonder if I can handle it. I know perseverance builds character, and character builds hope (Romans 5:3-4), but some days I just don’t feel like I have the energy to keep exercising my character muscles. I get so weary. Even as I began to write this post I felt so discouraged, but something told me to push through. I sat and looked at the screen wondering what I was going to say. Then Psalm 23 came to mind.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. — Psalm 23:1-2
It’s so easy for me to forget where my strength and peace comes from. In my flesh, I am incapable of dealing with the worries and troubles of this world. The weights that we all carry on our shoulders zap our strength and dehydrate us. Only God can refresh our soul.
Blessed is the one…whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. — Psalm 1:1-3
I have low blood pressure as a result of my injury. If I don’t stay hydrated, I can pass out sitting in my chair. It can be very dangerous. In the same way, if I don’t meditate on the right things, I experience a spiritual drought. There is no fruit in my life, my leaf withers, and I don’t prosper emotionally. It’s a bad place to be. I find myself in this drought when I am more focused on the troubles of this world and the worries about tomorrow. I find myself in this drought when I allow myself to be guided by negative emotions rather than by God’s strong arm. God is my only hope for contentment and peace. And for this reason I can persevere one more day.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. — Psalm 73:24-27
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Oh Terri, I can’t even fathom what you are experiencing each day. You may not think you are strong but you are. I find myself worrying and anxious at times with my own health these days. But you bring me back to reality so quickly…I have no reason to complain – my pain is nothing in comparison to what you are facing. I wish my prayers, thoughts and love could heal your body…but I do hope they encourage your soul. I’ve started to read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. I’m hoping it will help me with not getting discouraged and living in the now..not the past or the future. I find myself thinking..”I used to be able to do this..” or “what if the pain and muscle weakness get worse”. Those thoughts can take away from the moment I’m in now. It’s so hard to train the mind and the heart to just “be” in the “now”. Such a hard lesson for us all. Just know that I’m praying for you and always look forward to your posts. So keep writing!!! xoxoxox
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Dear sweet and honest and spiritual Terri.
Moses asked God to teach him to number his days so he could gain a heart of wisdom. One day at a time you are numbering your days and one by one gaining a heart of wisdom that you share with others. I don’t know why He has not called you home but I believe that each day that you remain you serve a purpose. You are loved dearly. Betsy
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Wow you truly are encouraging. Thanks for sharing and helping me to keep going toward with you. I love you 😍
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You are an inspiration, Terri. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. You’re in my prayers.
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Terri-you’re absolutely amazing! I can’t even begin to know what you’re going through-or how to even know how to reach out to you and encourage you through this journey. I read your journals and are simply humbled by your words….you are truly an inspiration to me and others who are fortunate to know you. I try to think of ways to reach out and encourage you-but in turn reading your journal you inspires me to grow in my own Christian walk with God.
I continue to think of you- pray for you- and sing from the top of my lungs every time I hear Mandisa’s song “Overcomer”….I only wish you could hear me-cause it would really make you chuckle. I share the below lyrics with you in hopes of lifting your spirits and to remind you you’re a fighter!
Whatever it is you may be going through
I know he’s not gonna let it get the best of you
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ’til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when he reminds you
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
with love from your friend and High School Classmate……Dana Lacock Ward
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