Since I became a quadriplegic in August 2013, I’ve spent most of my time thinking of this whole ordeal as a negative event. We all have difficult or catastrophic events in our lives, and becoming paralyzed from the shoulders down was my catastrophic event. Losing the things I thought made up my identity—my home, my job, my physical appearance, all of my material possessions—was an adjustment I was not prepared to face. And learning to live life in a facility with 24 hour dependence on others was frustrating, degrading at times, and very discouraging.
Being completely overwhelmed and confused about why this happened I diligently searched in my Bible, prayed, and asked for input from other trusted Christians. No light bulb went off during the first year. In fact, I had some devastating things happen during that time and found myself asking God, what good is all of this? I was bitter and filled with rage much of the time. I was angry at God and angry at people.
Amazingly enough, over the last few weeks I feel like I’ve gained some positive perspective on my quadriplegia. Don’t get me wrong—I haven’t had a day yet when I felt happy about my current life circumstances. There are days when I just want to give up and wish I could disappear from this earth. In all honesty, I think there will be many more days like that ahead. And yet as much as I want to fight putting the next statement on paper (and saying it out loud) I’m going to do it anyway: something inside of me is pushing me to believe this is not a bad thing at all. This seemingly “negative” life change could actually be a good and perfect gift.
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. — James 1:17 (NLT)
When I get weary of living this way, I sometimes think of Paul. Although I don’t dare compare my circumstances to Paul as he went through life-threatening events almost daily, I do know the Lord chose not to take away his thorn (whatever it was) so his power could be revealed.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”… For when I am weak, then I am strong. — 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, and v. 10 (NLT)
I talked with a dear friend of almost 30 years, who I consider to be a spiritual mentor, about healing. She taught me that healing comes to us in different ways. It’s not always physical healing that we need. I realized when I was able-bodied I looked for self-worth through things of this world and I never felt at peace or complete. Now that I have none of these worldly things I am completely reliant on God for my peace and sense of completeness. This has been and continues to be a soul healing process and it has only come to me as a result of my accident.
I have quoted this passage in several of my posts and will do it again…
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. — Romans 8:28 (NLT)
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Thanks for this encouraging post.
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Thank you Terri. You are a remarkable lady. Understandably you will have a down time now and then, but how you are able to write about them, and how God brings you through is a blessing.
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I appreciate your positive feedback. I am so grateful for you and the other friends I’ve made through my blog!
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Terri, you never cease to amaze me. How strong your spirit is. I look forward to your posts as they are such an encouragement to me in the trials I am going through. Blessings and love to you.
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Even though I don’t know you personally, I feel that we are close friends! I’m so grateful for the friendships I’ve gained through this blog. Your posts are equally inspiring and I thank you for that.
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Terri, in all the years I have known you…you continue to amaze me with your strength of character. I wonder if you know how inspiring you are to me and how you have changed my life for the better. Your insights are powerful and are truly a gift from God. Sending you love and prayers.
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God bless you Terri. I just read you message out loud to steve. (We are in the car) and we are amazed at the insights that God has shown you. I read a verse the other day in Isaiah that said “let the weak say I am strong. ” so when I’m feeling at my weakest I just say that over and over in my mind. It doesn’t say that you have to mean it but that we say it. Declare it in faith (maybe because that is he way God sees us?)
Anyway, it works! And that is the way I see you.
Steve says “we love you❤️”
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We talked today about how you feel these blogs seem to be followed by something bad happening like a test, but guess what? You write another one and then another one and then another one. Through your faith in God you’re passing the tests with even more conviction each time!
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Every post leaves me humbled. Thank-you.
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Hi Terri. You are an amazing lady. Keep everyone be inspired with your posts. God bless you.
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Let me assure you that the Lord is using your difficult situation to challenge me to go deeper in my faith journey. I continue to pray for you daily.
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I am amazed and so deeply touched by these writings. Please keep sharing.
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That scripture was my base line during my bout with present cancer. That believe gave me hope, kept me positive, and kept me watching for the good to come out of it …which it did!
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That scripture was also my base line during my bout with present cancer. That believe gave me hope, kept me positive, and kept me watching for the good to come out of it …which it did!
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Oops!With breast cancer…not present cancer….
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I am always encourage when I read your blogs. Your faith, ebbing and flowing, as you seek out God’s word, is so refreshing. None of us are perfect in our thoughts, feelings and faith. It is inspiring to see your faith and your journey. And it helps put things in my life into perspective, knowing I take for granted things that I shouldn’t. I hope you continue to write and I pray the negatives you feel may come after you “blog” will disappear. That’s only satan trying to steal your joy…don’t let him!!! xoxoxoxoxox
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Thank you, Teri, for sharing your heart. None of us can imagine what it is like to be in your situation but appreciate the fact that you are willing to share in your journey. Know that you are never alone as God promises us that “I will never leave you or forsake you’. Sometimes, in our darkest hours, we feel alone but God is always there to be by our side and he provides strength and encouragement through his word and his people.
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The above comment was from me, Buena Wheless. My fingers or screen moved too fast before I was able to complete the information. Thanks
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Terri, I’m going to take a risk and point you to a recent post I wrote, titled “Helpless.” You’ll likely read it and think, “What a sissy!” It’s about the first time I almost died. There were two more unrelated close calls in 2012. I could body-double Frankenstein’s monster. But, on the off-chance there might be something in there useful to you, here’s the link: https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/helpless/
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I can’t wait to read it! Thank you, Jeff.
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