It has been a long time since I have posted. I have had so many people check in with me to make sure I am alive and well. I want to let you know that I am getting better slowly after some long hospitalizations that weaved in and out of my hectic class schedules and caused me to withdraw from a couple of classes. Although I cannot help it when I get these septic infections, it is terribly discouraging to feel like I have to “quit” whatever I’m involved in at the moment.
My last hospitalization was the scariest of any I have experienced since I woke up in the ICU in 2013 after my neck was broken. This time around, because my infection was septic, I was unable to communicate with the doctors and even my family. I could understand what they were saying to me and I knew how I wanted to respond, I simply could not put it into words how to answer them.
Although this mental incoherence is common for me when I have a septic UTI, it normally only lasts 3 to 4 days. This last time it went on for 12 days straight. It was terrifying for everyone that I could not communicate for 12 days and the doctors started to think that I had a stroke. Even after I was sent home from the hospital, I still could not do much of anything like read, do classwork, solve crossword puzzles, or make sense of the news. This went on for another 3 to 4 weeks. I also experienced so many physical woes in the hospital and when I returned my facility. All of this weighed heavy on my faith and I became really discouraged.
Immanuel came to give freedom to the harassed and helpless (me and you) and He was the representation of “God with us.”
I began to question if God was with me in the hospital when people would talk to me and I simply would just shake my head in frustration, unable to speak. Then my faith really waned when I was sent home from the hospital and I was still so physically sick and cognitively disabled. The demons of anxiety and depression were trying to strangle me. I did not read anything in the Bible for days and days. That is a dangerous place for me to be. My constant question every day was, “why God?”
If I do not hear the truth and the good news in the Scriptures, I fall for the bad news and the lies of the world. Nothing feels hopeful when I am in that place.
Isaiah 43: 1 But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
God is with me in the best of times. God is with me in the worst of times. The point is God is always with me. I have to intentionally think back about all the times I have been awestruck by the prayers that He has answered. A couple of years ago I needed a new wheelchair and a friend created a Go Fund Me campaign. We raised $29,000 in a little over a week. Yes – specialized wheelchairs that you drive with your head are very expensive.
More important than tangible “gifts” that come from above (James 1:17-18), the way He has used the most trying times in my life to change my character for the good, has made me a more compassionate and empathetic person. If my life circumstances can help even one person, I do not feel distressed that it happened. I look forward to seeing how this most recent debilitating event will change me for the good and be useful in helping another person.
James 1: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
When I realize that Immanuel is “God with us” I can face my trials with pure joy, realizing it will lead to spiritual maturity and completeness. This type of pure joy is not giddy happiness. This type of pure joy is contentedness, acceptance, and deep trust that I am right where I need to be.
If you are discouraged, feel like you are in a dead space in your life or in your growth, hold on. Immanuel will not leave your side. He has a plan for you. He wants the best for you. He is with you.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Oh, Terri,
It was so good to see a post from you again. You continue to be in my prayers. Yes, God is with us!
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Thank you for your continued prayers.
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Terri I admire your fortitude and your sharing your weakness during your time deep struggle. I’ve had some struggles and empathized. Thanks GOD for Immanuel, GOD with Us. Thanks for you for sharing your heart. Many Blessings for the coming New Year! Glory be to GOD.
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Yes – all glory to God!
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Terry, I have missed hearing from your posts. Guess I need to use your absence as a reminder to pray for you! Immanuel – God with us – is such a good word for all of us. Thanks for posting.
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Thank you, Cheryl.
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Thank you so very much for sharing,
especially your conclusion:
“ If you are discouraged,
feel like you are in a dead space in your life or in your growth,
hold on.
Immanuel will not leave your side.
He has a plan for you.
He wants the best for you.
He is with you.”
Yes. Absolutely and completely.
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Very thankful for our partnership in the gospel. I know I can always go to for sound wisdom and advice.
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Thank you Terri. It is great to hear from you again. Thank you for your great faith and in weathering these storms. Excellent post. Our anchor and foundation is the Lord Jesus, our Immanuel, our Rock. Merry Christmas a day late but Merry nonetheless. You are in my prayers. Blessings to you.
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It’s great to be heard! Thank you for continuing to read my blog.
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Your faith is a blessing and witness to me of God’s goodness and mercy, a miracle of love that upholds us even as we cling to Him, Emmanuel, “God with us.” May you be doubly blessed now and in the new year. 🙏
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I am thankful to hear this and we can simply praise God.
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Wow Terri, you are such an example of how amazing God is and how turning to him can affect our lives and minds. I pray that 2023 holds many great things for you and fewer challenges. You are an inspiration ❤🙏
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Thank you for your prayers, Lisa.
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Warm Hugs to you Terri upon your return to cyberspace and in your continued recovery. May you find comfort as you rest in the Lord and the peace of knowing you are never separated from Him. Your honesty is a blessing to us all.🥰
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This is so encouraging. Thank you for reading my blog!
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It was MY pleasure to have done so. ❤️
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I’m so sorry you have had to go through this, but your inter strenght is amazing. My brother is here at Duke and very sick if you could pray for him. We will get together soon ( hate to admit but I forget sometimes so please remind me). Susan
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I will pray for your brother! Can you email or text me his name?
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Steve, thanks
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Sending you much love ❤️
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Thank you.
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Luke 7:35 “Nevertheless, the wisdom of God will be proven true by the expressions of godliness in everyone who follows me.” (Passion Translation)
You are a huge role model of faith!
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I think we are all soldiers of Christ, and we face different life circumstances that God always uses to strengthen our faith. I am thankful for the lessons I learn. Sometimes it takes a while for me to “find” the gratitude, but I always come around.
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So glad for your continued posts. I was thinking if you when i read this quite in my qt this am…
“God is able to bring eternal results from our time bound efforts. ” (jen wilkin)
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Thankful for you, Doreen.
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It is good to read your post and be touched by your faith and His goodness.
Blessings
BT
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I am thankful for the lessons I learn. Thank you for reading my blog.
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Thank you so much Terri for your honesty, your words of encouragement, and for sharing these scriptures. God’s promise to walk through the fire with us is so comforting. Praying for you and your health and that your spirit will be renewed.
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Thank you for prayers of renewal.
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Thank you for your prayers of renewal.
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I was just thinking how to contact you or find out what happened! Thank you, dear sister so much for posting and sharing this uplifting godly message.
Your ministry has such impact on brethren. Even though afar, we love you Terri and keep you in prayer.
“If I do not hear the truth and the good news in the Scriptures, I fall for the bad news and the lies of the world.” Such wise words to live by!
Thank you again Terri. ❤
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Thank you, Lisa Beth, for your continuous prayers for me. There is a contact email on my blog that you can always use to get in touch with me. I appreciate your heartfelt concern. I appreciate you, dear sister.
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Little sister thank you for sharing!!!
Prayed for you.
It is good to see you post again. I am glad you are doing better in regards to the infection.
When we feel so bad physically and are weakened by it, it is understandable ot have doubts but Jesus is close to use and with us.
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Thank you for reassuring me that it’s okay when we have doubts at times. Thank you for your prayers.
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remember Jesus is our Sympathetic High Priest who sympathizes with us in our weaknesses
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Your post and our interaction inspired a post for me that I am sharing tomorrow along with a link to your post
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How wonderful. I look forward to reading your post!
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Good to hear from you, sister Terri. When I feel discouraged because of my body’ weakness or sicknesses, I consciously turn my internal gaze towards Jesus, who suffered and died for me, that I might live. This ‘turning’ is never natural or automatic. It is a choice and a prayer. I remember that In Christ, I died with Him, I was buried with Him, and raise with Him. I remind myself that I do not need to worry about anything for Jesus holds my life, past, present, and future. God alone knows my future, for He has designed it, for His glory and for my own good. This is God’s Word that I apply to my life often. God says to Terri: “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for” (Jer 29:11. GNT). There is peace and prosperity for you in your life! Your future is not random, but it is lovingly planed by your Father in heaven! Fear not! He cares for you! Relax in His arms! God bless you, Terri!
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Beautiful convictions. Thank you, Silvia.
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So glad to hear from you. Sorry you have been in the hospital again. I continue to pray for you. I really miss you, hope I can come see you soon!!
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Pingback: When We Struggle in Life-Doubt – Jesusluvsall's Blog
Dearest Terri,
Your dairy of medical, health and spiritual experiences is much more than a “diary of a quadriplegic”. It is a life affirming transformative message from a fellow soldier on this earthly battlefield. Thank you for sharing your journey so that we can see God’s powerful work through your life and in our own walk. You are so much more than a quadriplegic. Through His incredible spirit your story inspires so many. May He continue to bless you as you give so much to us.
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Thank you, Barbara.
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Teri Thank you for this article. It is very helpful to our thinking and our faith. Lory Demshar
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Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Terri! Your blog has always encouraged me throughout my recovery, and with my injury anniversary only a couple of days away it’s easy to feel so lost in my thoughts throughout the holidays, but your blog has always helped me stay focused on my faith and future. I pray that you’ll have a blessed and healthy 2023.
~Stacy
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Thank you, Stacy. Anniversaries are always difficult – especially holidays. I pray that you’re growing in your faith and have much hope in your life.
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I’m so sorry for your suffering, Terri. Thank you for teaching us how to keep getting up when life knocks us down. Your in my prayers, especially during my sleepless nights.
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It is always a joy to read your posts, Terri. I am
so sorry that this most recent bout with was the most scary and I am
so glad you are on the other side of it. Immanuel!
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Terri,
Thank you for allowing God to use you and your powerful testimony of His faithfulness and yours. I’m praying for you. God is with us. Love you.
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So glad through all Torod’s job changes, the Neptune’s have laid roots in the Triangle! Thank you for your prayers.
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Oh my, Terri. What a fight! You are such a shining star-I’m so thankful for your perspective on this latest trial, your willingness to search until you find peace. I’m so sorry you went through this, but grateful for your being able to find God in it. Love you and appreciate this post.
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I love you too and appreciate your friendship over all these years.
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Beautifully said me dear friend. There is no place we can go that he has not been/or is. HE is with us.💞
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Beautifully said me dear friend. There is no place we can go that he has not been/or is. HE is with us.💞
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Amen.
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Thank you for this encouraging post that you wrote from a place of great trials. I pray that Lord will continue to strengthen and keep you. I pray that He will give you the desires of your heart. I pray you will continue to experience His love and mercy. God bless you my sister.
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Thank you for such encouraging prayers, sister.
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Terri, it is so good to read a post from you again. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you’ve suffered but grateful you have endured in Christ. You are an inspiration to me and so many, a living reminder to fix our eyes on the Author and Finisher of our faith. I pray that God multiplies a harvest 100-fold from your testimony and surrendered life.
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God is definitely with you and us. Blessings
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