For many of you that read my blog, you know that I am paralyzed from the shoulders down and live in a long-term care facility. My permanent aide of the last five years has picked up different responsibilities so others are having to fill in. There has been very little consistency in the aides that are now taking care of me over the three shifts that have to be covered. It’s difficult to have someone different every day see me in ways that make me feel super vulnerable.
These changes in my caregiving routine have caused me a lot of insecurity and anxiety. These feelings are amplified during my nightly battle with insomnia and have caused me to experience a wicked depression. Some mornings I feel like I just can’t breathe and it’s difficult to focus on doing the right things.
A few days ago, I spent time meditating on how much God loves me and it was like salve for an open wound. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t instantly become joyful and feel better, but it gave me perspective and provided a sense of peace. Like many others, sometimes I question God’s plan when I feel like problems are closing in on me. Those are the times I must get into the Word of God to be reminded of His true goodness. I hope this is helpful to someone that might need it.
Romans 8: 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
There are days that I doubt, that I want to give up, that I wish I could get drunk or take something to make it all go away, but God tells me I am more than a conqueror, no matter how I feel about myself. The reason I am a conqueror is because of how much God loves me. Nothing can ever separate me from His love. He believes in me. He cares for me. He listens to me when I pray. He wants the best for me.
Psalm 5: 11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. 12 Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
Even when I am suffering or feeling down, I can rejoice in God’s name. He protects me. He blesses me. He surrounds me with favor as with a shield. Others walk around this world empty and aimless with their heads hung low, but I am surrounded by God’s favor! Because of that, my life can shine even when things get hard.
1 John 3: 1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as he is.
I am completely in awe that I can be a child of God. After all I’ve said and done, He is still calls me his child. How my Father delights in his children! And to one day be able to see Christ “as he is” seems unbelievable. It’s too good to be true. I can’t wait for that day!
Ephesians 4: 17a I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that will surpasses knowledge—that you may be in a filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
I cannot even comprehend the love Christ has for me. It’s just too big for my small mind to grasp. To be filled to the measure with the fullness of God gives me great hope and confidence. I cannot be separated from His love – no matter where my emotions take me. When depression crowds my mind and the world seems darker to me, God is still there. He is still working powerfully in my life because of His immeasurable love.
Psalm 103: 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
The distance between the heavens and the earth cannot be measured, and that’s how much God loves me. When I’m feeling anxious, I need to meditate on the fact that God’s love is so big I am completely engulfed by it. God completes me.
1 Peter 1: 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.
Sometimes I suffer being in this wheelchair, but my suffering strengthens my faith, which the Scripture says is of greater worth than gold. Jesus Christ will present me with praise, glory, and honor one day. That does fill me with an inexpressible and glorious joy. I have something in store for me if I persevere through the trials in my life. With the right perspective, this makes the most difficult times in my life worthwhile.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
May God hold you firmly and lovingly in His loving arms, Terri!
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It is an instant uplift to me when I notice that you have a new blog post!
What an inspiration you always are to me and I am sure to many others!
I want to live in that state where I am, as you said “in awe that I can be a child of God.”
1 John 3 really is it!
Thanks for writing!
Blessings
Lynn
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Thank you for reading, Lynn!
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“After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.” Gen. 15:1
Thank you so much for this post, Terri. It is a very timely reminder for me!
May the Lord continue to bless your soul richly, as your insights bless your readers!
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Terri, I am so encouraged by the way you make the scriptures so applicable to what you (and all of us0 are going through. Love you.
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United to Him, His love, His life, His joy, His strength, His salvation, His death, His glory, His victory, His mercy, His grace: when it’s all about Him, we are more than we could ever be! I think I see what you’re saying here. Thank you Terri.
~🕊Dora
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Terri,
You always lift me up when I
Read you blog. I fell last Sunday
and I am black and blue from my
face all the way down my right side.
I have felt really down and upset since
It happened but after reading your
blog I realize there are so many people
worse off than me. I pray for you every
night and I love you so much Terri.
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Hi Barbara. I sent you an email. Love you.
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Praying for you Terri.
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Thank you Terri for being so vulnerable and for sharing your struggles and your faith. You showed again the power of God’s word in your life and how it renewed you inwardly 2 Corinthians 4:16. God has your back!
With much love,
Sabine
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Terri, it’s so good to hear from you. I’m so glad that the Lord is revealing His love to you in greater measure. In times of turmoil and trial, I find such strength in meditating upon the sovereignty of God. I seek out Biblical truths about His rule and reign over all and the certain ultimate victory in store for His people. Not immediate but ultimate.
Thank you for sharing this encouraging post. Praying for you sister.
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Thank you for this beautiful, uplifting, encouraging post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I love it when I see a post from you. Praying for your care giver changes smooth out for you so you can rest your mind and actually get some sleep. Keeping you in my prayers! Hope to see you soon!!
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Terri,
I always read your posts. I usually do not reply because I do not have the words to describe how much your posts impact my heart. But I have decided that I will try. Terri, your wisdom, insight, vulnerability, courage, conviction, are amazing. You always remind me God is the solution to everything. I have a favorite Christian Band “Casting Crowns”. This morning I was listening to the song “Nobody”. The chorus of the song I think is simple but true. The Lyrics are….
Cause I’m just a nobody
Trying to tell everybody
All about Somebody
Who saved my soul
Ever since You rescued me
You gave my heart a song to sing
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus
I’m living for the world to see
Nobody but Jesus
You are telling everybody through this blog Nobody but JESUS!
Thank you for keeping it real and sharing your heart. I think about you often and am so Thankful for your your heart to share your fears, doubts, and concerns….but always stand firm on your convictions.
Love your Sister in Christ
Jennifer Overman
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Thank you Terri for sharing your encouraging words and very real struggles. I pray for you often! I read this scripture this morning and thought of you. “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” – Romans 8:18 I am praying and working to remember promises like these that God has given to us, to encourage us and keep us faithful to him. All glory and praise to our Father who keeps all of his promises!
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I’m grateful that the Lord enabled you to write this beautiful and encouraging post. I know He will use it to bless others as it has blessed me. May His Spirit continue to minister to your soul and enable you to fulfill all of His good purposes for you!
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Terri,
Your strength and beliefs are an inspiration to all who have passed your path.
Melissa another PBS fan.
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Thank you Terri. This has been a difficult couple of weeks. I’m approaching the first anniversary of my son’s death. Grief seems to cloud all the goodness and blessings in my life. I know it’s all part of the process, but that often doesn’t make it any easier. Your reminder was so needed today. Thank you!
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Oh my goodness. My heart aches for you. I will be praying for you, that you will somehow be comforted in this sad time.
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Terri,
Thank you for being so grounded in the word. Your convictions through your suffering builds my faith. I will pray for you as you go through this time of uncertainty. Love, Cora
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Thank you, Cora. One day I’ll be able to be a part of your study group! Thanks for sending me the notes.
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Terri, Thank you for being so real and willing to share so others can grow I’ve always loved that about you. I like best that you said things didn’t change right away. God’s word is so powerful. You’ve shown once again how it can transform and renew our mind and our heart. Love, Deb
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Thank you for this! You are such an encouragement.
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Reblogged this on Tricia's Journal Jots Blog and commented:
Such an encouraging post!
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Hi, In reading your post….I can tell, you get God! You understand that we are to just love Him no matter what is going on in our lives!! I too have physical challenges and I rely heavily on God’s love for my daily strength. Because of my medical condition, it has caused me to be very close to God. I wrote a book recently called Obsessed with God”.
I’ve had and have many hard trials in my life like you…but we have figured out to JUST LOVE GOD NO MATTER WHAT!!! He has a great plan for our lives in eternity AND help, love, amazing grace and mercy in this life. Your blog is GREAT on the topic of God’s love for us!!! Thanks
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Thank you for reading my blog! Tell me about your book. Where can I get a copy?
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Thank you for inquiring about my book. It’s called “Obsessed with God” It’s on Amazon. God bless you
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Thanks for inquiring about my book. It’s about my personal prayer life. Even my husband didn’t know what I do until he read my book. My granddaughter told her my I was obsessed with God, which is why the title. You can get my book here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=tanya+nemley&crid=2J1U6FI3TQIQ&sprefix=tanya+nem%2Caps%2C143&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_9
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Reblogged this on God Speaks I Listen and commented:
This blog is saying things I’ve tried to share though my blogs…GOD LOVES US! WE SHOULD LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT OUR CIRCUMSTANCE IS! I pray this blog helps somebody!Be encouraged today!
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Thank you for the re-blog!
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“Jesus Christ will present me with praise, glory, and honor one day.” Yes! It’s always such a pleasure and encouragement to hear from you, Terri. I can’t tell how grateful I am for your witness and spirit among us.
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You are such a wonderful blessing, Terri. Just when I think the fog of depression will consume me, God always directs me to the light of your words shining through to help me see my way and God’s heart more clearly. You inspire me to want to get closer to and shine brighter for the Lord. Most of the time I feel rather more like a dim bulb though (ha!) But I hope to mature to a place where I can be a real light like you and where I can really rejoice in the Lord always no matter the circumstance.
You are a beautiful reflection of God’s radiance.
Praying for you that soon God will ease your insomnia and send the best staff who will be genuinely helpful to you. I thank God for you always.
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