As I was being placed in my wheelchair this morning, one dominant thought crossed my mind: I am not in the mood for this day. I barely got any sleep over the past couple nights because my roommate kept waking up and calling out for help. This morning when I got bathed it was chilly in my room so my body felt even chillier. I hate a cold bath. I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulder, but today it feels like the pain has been turned up a few notches.
This morning I am cranky. I am frustrated. I am aching. The reality is, I’m not only aching on the outside, mornings like these can crush my optimism and hope, and can throw me into a depression. Although it can be a challenge, I have to remember that even in my darkest days, God is with me.
Psalm 139: 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 23: 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
The truth is, I have some deep dark fears. I often fear that someone is coming into my room at night and doing terrible things to me. After the recent news articles about the woman who got pregnant even though she had been comatose for the last 10 years, really got me going. I also fear that I will lose my voice and that’s the way I communicate to my computer to write these blogs or just send emails and many other things.
Isaiah 43: 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Even if those events occur, God is still with me! And I have some very close friends that don’t have their voices and yet write beautiful blogs and operate their computers without a hitch.
There are so many little annoyances in my life from day to day. Living in a facility brings a whole new set of challenges. I get sick of the food. Occasionally I’ll get a caregiver with a disrespectful attitude. I spend every day surrounded by people in their 80s and 90s who suffer from dementia or other diseases that rob the elderly of who they are. It can be very sad at times; and sometimes I wonder if that will happen to me.
Colossians 3: 3Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
I am human, so I will think about these things at times, but I am determined to pray to see the full picture – that one day I will be appearing with Christ in glory. I must make every effort to set my heart and mind on things above and not things of this world. I have a unique opportunity to stay in the Word throughout the day because I do not work; this will certainly help me to set my heart and mind on the right things. The challenge is actually doing it!
In this world, we will have hard times. Some of us will have difficulties with our spouse, within our families, in college, at work, to name just a few. Sometimes we just wake up feeling crummy and have a bad day. That can also be a trial.
John 16: 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
As we pass through trials and tribulations, we should remember that Jesus assured us long ago that our paths would be bumpy at times. We will feel both emotional and physical pain. We will have fears, some irrational and some warranted. Our God is bigger than all of it.
Isaiah 40:12 12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?
If our father can hold the waters of the world in the hollow of his hand, what can he not do? He is always with us. He is all-powerful. Our job is to simply persevere with the tools he has given us.
Hebrews 12: 1 And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
Amen.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
You have a beautiful strength! ;-)))
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Terri, thank you for writing this insightful blog even though you are struggling today. Praying for you.
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Beautifully said Terri! Praying for you! God bless you!
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Blessing and prayers on the hardest of days Terri.
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Hi, Terri, just back from visiting Greta & family. Haven’t forgotten you. My mother hated being cold. She was totally disabled, as well. We finally got the caretakers to keep everything covered except for one part they were washing. Used towels, bathrobe, blankets. No excuse for you to be cold! Besides, it’s a privacy issue. I’m sure some are better than others. I hope you are warm and feeling better now. It surely is difficult for you a lot of the time. I’ll see you soon when you want a visit. Live, Gretchen
Sent from my iPhone
Gretchen Van Gelder Casey
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God bless you today Terri and every day. Praying for you!! He is using you in powerful ways as He does with His children. Thank you for writing your blog and I am praying you have a much better evening and a wonderful tomorrow!
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Terri, thank you. You are always an inspiration. Even when you are having an “off day”, your words are so meaningful. The reason you are inspiring, even when you are “not in the mood for this day”, as I see it, is because Holy Spirit is in control of you, because you have surrendered yourself to Jesus Christ and His Spirit.
Your post has Scripture all through it, so how could a reader not be inspired. Holy Spirit working through a Daughter of Heavenly Father, writing words that Holy Spirit Himself inspired a number of different authors to write years ago, and you, a Daughter of our Heavenly Father quoting them now, we are blessed.
And then you quote Jesus Christ, our Saviour and Lord, saying , sure we will have troubles in this world, but He gives us Peace, because He has overcome the world.
Be Blessed Of God, Terri, as you are a blessing.
I am looking forward to GLORY, when I can meet you face to face, and say thank you in person, and Praise Jesus along with you, as well as for you.
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George – I was feeling really down this morning and reading your words lifted my spirits and calmed my heart. Thank you for your comments and your faith in God. You have inspired me this morning. I am grateful.
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Terri: you are a special woman of God, with a unique ministry He has given you.
I am blessed, along with many others, to connect with you via electronics.
God Bless you.
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Hi Terri, beautiful and encouraging post! Thank you for sharing your personal challenges, I appreciate knowing you a bit more thru them. I pray that in all things you sense the Lord’s nearness. 🌹
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Thank you, Lisa. I think God works through me the most during my down times.
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I love the description of being held in the hollow of God’s hand. His tenderness, warmth, and attention are so overlooked. Sometimes, when I am in a “hard and dry” state of mind, I think of God as a CEO, busy, rushed, so many tasks to take care of (perhaps that’s actually where I am). Thank you for sharing this verse that speaks to his gentle care. A great reminder of who he is, and that I do not need to assign a different, untrue description to our loving Father. Thank you Terri!
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Terri, Your honesty is refreshing. So many times we are not honest with others, overselves (or God, but He knows) about our struggles. If asked how we’re doing, we say “fine” even if we are wasting away inside or struggling. We all have doubts, fears and struggles – although different – we are all the same. We doubt ourselves, we fear what others think, and we lose focus of God and the power faith has in our lives. I love reading your blog! You inspire me to be real about what I’m feeling, instead of burying it. If we face our fears, turn to God, that mountain we are climbing will seem so small in comparison.
I’m so grateful to have you as a friend. Thank you for always sharing your heart, your soul and scriptures that help you. Those scriptures also help me. Love & prayers!
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Terri, This is the first post that I have read of the many that you have written. I needed this today. I am glad that GOD is using you in such a powerful way. Thank you for the encouragement and the honesty. We are not our own we were bought with a price. Let us then live up to the cost of this price. 1Cor 6:20.
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Thank you for writing this today. My wife has been dealing with chronic pain for several years. Days like today, when it’s cold and bleak outside, are particularly difficult for her. I shared these words and it brought her (and I) hope and a reminder that God is present, Thank you for that gift.
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Hi Terri,
I sympathize with you. Something you said made me think of a scripture that I came to conviction about a few years ago.
John 6:28-29
“Then they asked him, what must we do to do the works God requires? Jesus answered, The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”
You are doing the most important work ever- building your faith in Jesus. My faith grew and grows the most when I was/am forced to be still. Whatever the enemy has laid out for you, know that he cannot break through your faith in Jesus.
Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. God is using you in a powerful way.
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Teri, love you and wish you were closer and a part of my daily life. You are so good to share these thoughts; it blesses all who read them. You have all you need, and you believe it. I want to be like you as I grow up!
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I love this post because it is so honest and practical. It helps me see how to rely on God’s Word and believe and trust Him, no matter what. You are an inspiration.
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Thank you for being open and honest with the readers of your blog, Terri. Your posts are always so encouraging to Mary and me. I’m sorry you have pain in your neck and shoulders, I am praying for you. I, too, often have pain in my neck and shoulders, but thankfully it’s not constant. And, Mary is a good masseuse 🙂 I hope you have a good masseuse to rub your neck and shoulders. God bless you, sister.
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