I wrote this blog on March 25, 2015. That was almost 4 years ago. God has brought me into the light of faith, hope and acceptance slowly but surely; so reading this blog really inspired my heart. Maybe it will inspire someone else on their journey, someone who might be having trouble finding power in their weakness.
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Sometimes I feel so lost. I wonder how I can add any value to this world in my current condition. As selfish as it sounds, I’ve laid in bed for two or three days at a time in the darkest funk wishing I were not part of this world. On those days I refuse to get in my wheelchair and go out of my room or even outside to get fresh air. At some point I will finally ask myself, how did I get here? And the answer is always the same: I’ve relied on my flesh to cope in my world and not on the Spirit of our mighty God.
Galatians 5: 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.
What does my flesh want? To feel sorry for myself. To be isolated and sit in the dark. To just give up. When I’m relying on myself I am doomed and am enslaved by darkness. Through prayer and faith, I can be set free and live in the light.
John 8: 12 Then Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Without God, I would never be able to endure my life circumstances. None of us would be able to endure our life circumstances, whatever they are. When I don’t take time to pray, look at Scripture, and spend time with my sisters in Christ who can challenge and encourage me, I am destined to fall into a deep depression and become bitter towards God. The reality is, I have no power and God has all power. Why am I not relying on and trusting in him?
Today I felt weak. I slept very little last night and I didn’t want to get out of bed. But I’m sitting in my wheelchair right now and I’m talking to you about my weakness and God’s strength. Even as I started to write this blog, I got a bad headache and felt distracted and discouraged. But I prayed and I pushed through. Today God’s power was made perfect in my weakness. It was God who pushed me through. In that I can boast.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11 So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Amen.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Thanks Terri – a great word, again.
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Thank you Terri for sharing the rawness of what you experience. I’m glad you were able to pull yourself out. I can relate to some of what your feeling in the ongoing struggle with the cancers but mines nothing compared to what you must have to deal with everyday. You’ve touched my heart and inspire me. You may not feel strong but young lady you truly are. Hang in there. We need you in our lives. You Got This!! Big Hugs 🤗
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Hey Terri, great post. Just read it aloud to my husband whose struggling with a chronic affliction. It really served to refocus and humble him. Thinking of you and praying for you sister!
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Thank you Terri. You always share what I need to hear. You are a ray of sunshine in my day.
I love everything you write.
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Thank you for continuing to read! I am so grateful that God is using my struggles (and my victories) for his glory.
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Terri, thank you for always redirecting us back to God who is always waiting with arms wide open to help us and strengthen us. I am ashamed to admit how often I forget this and try to handle my problems on my own.
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Terri, thank you for doubling back to share an earlier post. It seems that is part of each person’s journey to remember and return to the simple conclusion to rely on our Father, and his son. Feeling overwhelmed, and frustrated recently, I returned to the Beatitudes wanting to get back to “What is a Christian’s life like?” I don’t like it when things are “too hard.” But, what happens when you feel that you are in over your head? I heard a minister talk about how as Jesus’ first recorded message to the people, in Matthew 5, Jesus acknowledged their hardships: poor, those who mourn, those humbled by life’s challenges, and those who are persecuted. He looked at that large crowd from the mountain, and spoke to the holes in their hearts, where they were at a loss to know how to cope, and chose his words to address their needs. He did not proclaim, “Peace, Peace, Peace!” Your post speaks clearly about what you faced early on, and circle back. Love to you, and all that do to reach out and help others!
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*PS – Terri, can you imagine what God and Jesus are thinking when they look down and see all your wonderful posts and especially “Power in Weakness, “Decision to Praise God,” “To Live is Christ,””God is Good,” “Apart from God, I have no good thing,” “Praise God,” “Jesus Among Us,” “Armor of God,” “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes” and many more…I mean wow. I just got a picture in my mind of God looking at this blog right now and I can imagine how big His smile is as He looks at your writings and continued testimony through painful trials and how happy He is that you are such a beautiful reflection of His own glory. There are so few people I know who truly reflect God and Christ and you through your honesty, insight and relationship with God are one of them. Thank you.
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Thank you Terri. Your reliance on God brings action.Your motive is to depend on him which brings the fruits of the Spirit. This glorifies God. Thank you!! Love you,Gayle
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It does inspire, Terri, and reminds us of the time it takes for true spiritual growth, no matter the circumstances.
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Hi Terri. I was wondering if I could come visit you this week. Would either Thurs or Tues afternoon work best for you? It would be around 3 PM. I would like to bring my 12 year old granddaughter. Would that be ok? Thanks and love, Pam Schlegel
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Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
My Featured Blogger this week is Terri Nida, a woman who, like my friend Bill Sweeney, has found greater power and purpose than she ever experienced before becoming a quadriplegic. Does that mean she thanks God every day for confining her to a wheelchair? Hardly. Much of the beauty and power of Terri’s shared 5 year life journey is that she invites us into her struggles as well as her victories. To read of Terri’s hard-won freedom in the midst of confinement is to better understand what life–real life–means. Take the journey with her!
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Thank you, Mitch! I’ve already gotten a couple of new followers.
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Good. May there be MANY more!
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God bless you Terri! This is a powerful and encouraging message of truth! God is using you, He is with you, and He loves you! This has encouraged my heart as I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease on 1-6-12 and have been fighting it ever since. I am praying for you and I signed up to follow your blog too. Grace and peace to you Terri!
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The “divine perspective” is so profound – that you are making more of an impact on the world in your present condition than many people walking around feeling in control, with no clue that they are utterly dependent upon God – and that He is utterly dependable.
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Such a good word! Thank you for using your weakness to encourage others!
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My first visit to your blog, Terri, and it is an experience to cherish.
I shall return and begin at the beginning. In the meantime, please
know that you are appreciated. It is clear you are an angel to many.
I can not think of a better reason for being. Hats off to you.
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Years ago when I was going through something terrible, people kept telling me how strong I was. I would reply that I wish God didn’t let me go through all this so I would have to be strong. But after looking at all the crises I have been through, I see that it is our assignment. We are here for a reason. God did not create mankind just to have something to do. Satan is prince of this world and he wants us to claim he does not exist and therefore blame God for every bad thing. Every time we smile, every time we stubbornly push forward, every time we flex our spiritual muscles, Satan falls and God wins. It’s the “war of the worlds”. When I studied demons, I realized everyone Jesus freed of demons was at “church” ~ Satan chose the spiritually strong to attack. He’s not worried about those he already has. Why? I think that, when Jesus spoke of ruling two cities and five cities and ten cities, he was referring to what we are going through all these tests for. God is not a God of idleness. So, what will we be doing in heaven? Perhaps he has a million other worlds and wants only the strong to rule them. So, collectively, let us say, “Satan, do your best. God and I will win!”
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Wow! Just wow! God blesses all of us with you! Wow! Thank you for sharing! You truly are an inspiration!
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I totally relate to not relying on the Spirit and feeling sorry for myself instead (wheelchair user here). I have to pray that I will be filled with the Spirit so I can be a light for others.
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