Why does God allow difficult things to happen? I do not know the answer. Every time I read the news, look at Facebook, or talk to friends, I hear bad news. I often get sad and sometimes I get angry, but it bolsters my belief that I have to keep my mind set on things above and not on earthly things (Colossians 3:1-2). I do not know the purpose of me being paralyzed, but I do believe that suffering is part of our journey.
James 1: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I’ve had people say so many different things about my accident. Some say I was dealt a bad hand. Others say this could never be within God’s will, because God only gives “good” gifts. Still others say it was simply a “freak” accident (I’ve said that a few times myself). I’ve had so many different opinions offered to me about healing and faith (some in a very aggressive and condescending manner), yet what I’ve learned from prayer, intense Bible study, and even input from some biblical scholars, is this: God is in control of my life. He knows what he is doing. He loves me. And He is good.
Psalm 119 68 You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.
Psalm 145 9 The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
This conviction of God’s goodness is cemented into my heart and soul, and no matter what happens to me, I still believe it. I believe Romans 8:28 that says regardless of what happens in my life, it can have a good purpose. I believe there are things that we will never understand, and we have to be at peace with that. I also believe there is an enemy in this world that is trying to use our difficult situations to make us hate God. But we have to stay strong. We have to use the Word of God and prayer to build our spiritual muscles or our faith will wither away.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
John 10:10 The thief has come to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Do I believe that sick and hurting people can be healed? Absolutely. Do I pray about it for myself? Yes I do. I’ve already seen some of these prayers answered and it inspires me to continue to pray all the more fervently. But there are other prayers that have not been answered and I’ve learned I have to persevere in my faith and be patient. Much good fruit can be born out of suffering or difficult life circumstances as long as we trust in God.
John 15: 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
So many good things have happened as a result of my paralysis. I have shared my faith unceasingly with my caregivers at the facility where I live. They are often amazed that I am in the position I am in but am still faithful to God. I also have many people following my blog and hearing a message of perseverance and hope. None of these things are happening because I’m such a great example. On the contrary, I am weak, but God is strong. All of this glorifies God and hopefully leads some people to think about their own relationship with Him.
In addition to all of that, my own faith has been strengthened and purified by this whole ordeal. I am digging deep in the Scriptures looking for the truth more than I ever could have imagined. My prayers are filled with a desperation for God and I’ve learned to pray very specific prayers. I’m finding I get very specific answers. My greatest joy is the deep-seated gratitude I’ve experienced, even during some of my darkest days. Even though I sit in a metal wheelchair each day, I still have hope. And I still hold on.
I do not believe that my broken neck was a freak accident or was outside the will of God. This injury has caused me to learn things I never would’ve learned as an able-bodied person. For this reason I am grateful and convinced that God is good.
Psalm 119: 67 Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.
Amen.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
Terri, I read your post aloud as my daughter, Jordan, listened. We are both strengthened in our faith and in our walk because you wrote this and posted this. Please keep writing!! God is causing good to come from your response to your circumstances. I love you deeply and always. I hope you have a very meaningful Christmas season. I look forward to seeing you after the winter break. Your heart and faith give light to our paths. Keep writing. Keep being YOU. I love you.
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Glory to God…awesome job of giving Him that. Do you get tired of me always posting how much I love what you write? I have not a doubt in my mind that God is using your circumstances–and your persevering glory giving for eternal fruit you will eternally rejoice in!!! Thank you for honoring our King and helping us do the same!
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I love hearing your feedback, of course! Thank you for continuing to spur me on to love and good deeds.
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Terri you are an inspiration. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. We do not know the answers to our questions but I picture myself one day in heaven saying, “Oh now I get it!” I read somewhere that God answers all prayers. Sometimes it is with “Yes” or “No”, or “Let me get back to you.” That was said with humor but it may be very true. Keep your positive attitude and your faith.
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This is well said Terri. I have wrestled with many of the same questions. You have admitted and clarified the human questions we have about circumstances in life, and then helped us focus on the way God’s Word and love is stated. What I see you have said is that everyone’s journey is different, but our focus on God and the spiritual battle brings us all to the cross. If our heart is to know God, then we will wrestle the way you have and also conclude the journey is rewarding because of who we have become, verses focusing on what we have been dealt with in life – which Satan wants us to do. We become like minded, as Philippians quotes, if our attitude is like Christ. This is the pearl of great price, the good news, the living water, etc. We are not of this world, and you so powerfully continue to remind us of this fact. Thank you so much for leading the way! Looking forward to seeing you Christmas Day.
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Be me reminded everyday that others are eager to hear your words of commitment, strength and perseverance …be reminded that others are encouraged and in awe by your strength and constant faith in Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas.
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You are such a strong person, don’t think otherwise. I had wondered where you were and how you you were doing. I found you on this blog and have looked forward to this every month. Love you baby cousin!
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Merry Christmas Terri, I’m off over Christmas week-end and hope to see you.
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Many times we never receive an answer to the “why” questions in life. Especially when it comes to our painful circumstances. But if we pray and trust God with our “whys” – we sometimes understand the “what” of what He is trying to do in our lives. That is why I like the scripture you shared from James 1 about perseverance. I also appreciate the scripture from Colossians 3:1,2 on where we should fix our attention. Your commentary is true and at the same time so hard to trust at times. I hold to the promise that life here is so temporary, and that a time is coming when the faithful will enter into an eternal rest where there is no more pain and no more suffering. No longer will be living in a broken world.
Thank you Terri for your perseverance. It inspires many including myself. God bless you.
Steve
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Terri, your writing is so vulnerably powerful. Thank you. Seriously, you have a gift in sharing your heart, and your faith, through written words. I don’t know who all the “ripple effect” of your writings will touch–but am sure you will touch many lives. You already are. You point to Jesus and his word in a powerful way. I’d love to share some of these blogs on Disciples Today (Women Today) if you are okay with that. Also, if you ever want some encouragement and help in compiling your blogs into a book I’d be happy to help in whatever way I can. Love and prayers. Jeanie
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Jeanie – thank you so much for the encouragement! I would love for you to share my blogs on Disciples Today. I’m not familiar with it, but it sounds like something I’d love to be a part of. And yes – I want all the help I can get! Let’s talk more about it soon. I now have your email address and in case you can’t see mine, it is: terrinida@gmail.com. With love and gratitude, Terri
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Such a faith-building post, Terri. I paused to say amen at least ten times while reading this. You are one wise lady.
Wishing you a very happy new year, my friend. God bless you.
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Terri, thank you for your vulnerability. You are SO real it is refreshing and exactly what many of us need. Moreover, you are a great writer! Keep sharing. Keep loving. Because you’re right – God does have a plan (and it’s a good one!)…
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Terri, thank you for sharing your story and for your great example of clinging to God and his word through your suffering. One of our neighbors and teen brother in Christ, Conor McCormick, has a story somewhat similar to yours. He was a star athlete and in the prime of life at 16 when he broke his C4 vertebrae in a diving accident. He is also strong in his faith and preaching the word to others as he learns to cope with a new body. As we pray for him daily, we will remember you too, sister. Your life has great purpose and meaning and you are an inspiration to many.
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Thank you, Lisa, for reading my blog and sending some encouraging comments my way. I will also pray for Conor. I’m glad to know that he is clinging to Christ and preaching the word, but 16 is so young to have something like this happen! But we know that God has a greater plan than what we can see.
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Terri I’m Sandra. I live in Brazil. Thank you for sharing your heart, thoughts, real feelings . This helped me a lot, and helped me to help others that are passing through difficult situation harder than mine. God’grace may streghten you. Love
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Dear Terri. I love you. I love the way you let Christ live in you and express Himself through you.
My name is Barbra Gondongwe from Harare, Zimbabwe.
Thank you for sharing your life, your thoughts, your feelings, your challenges and your faith with all of us. God Bless.
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Dear Barbra – thank you for reading my blog and sending such encouraging words from Zimbabwe. I hope that we can continue to stay in touch. I love you, too.
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I love your writing and the strength of your faith Terri…it reminds me of that verse from the book of Job 13:15 “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.”
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Dear Crystal – thank you for reading my blog and sending some encouragement my way. Thank you also for pointing out that verse for me in Job. I hope to hear from you again soon.
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*PS – This post also reminds me of the Christian song “Good Good Father” by Chris Tomlin. I listen to that song on my hard days because it reminds me of God’s character when I am tempted to forget. Hope you are well 🙂 Blessings, Crystal
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Crystal – thank you so much for sharing the name of the song with me. I look forward to listening to it!
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Terri, thank you so much for such an inspiring testimony. You have driven home something I read this week in Sinclair Ferguson’s book on Philippians. Ferguson writes, “Suffering is the friction which polishes our graces.”
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Dear Tony – Thank you so much for reading my blog. What a wonderful quote about suffering. I’ll have to look up the book and see if it’s something I can read on Kindle. I just read the introductory page on your blog and can’t wait to hear more about you through posts that you make as well as your book. It’s a pleasure to have met you and I look forward to learning from you as you fight your battles. I’m sure you will be an inspiration to help me keep fighting.
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Dear Terri – thank you so much for writing such a inspiring personal journey. It takes great determination to run to God when the reality could have given thousand of reasons to be discouraged, depressed and hopeless. It is through your situation, you have allowed God to use your life to build and strengthen the faith of many people whom God brought us to your blog as well as to glorify His goodness. Your sharing reminds me of this quotes: Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses. ~ Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr. Looking forward to read more inspiring sharing from you.
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Terry, my best and longest friend since I was born, posted your story. I have read every single entry. Thank you for YOUR truth, your realness, transparency!! It means the world to me! I can’t get enough. I’ve been a follower of Jesus for 35 years now but 10 of those were spent undoing the religion I was brought up in. I love and appreciate all you are doing and saying and am praying for you as well dear sister!! God is using you mightily!! Blessings, Sharon
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Hi Sharon – thank you so much for reading all the entries of my blog. Wow – what a blessing. I’ve had to spend some time unraveling some crazy teachings and legalism myself so I know how painful it can be. Let’s hang in there together and use the word is our true standard. Blessings to you, Sharon.
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