John 16: 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I love all of John chapter 16. I can so relate to the disciples feelings of fear, grief, and confusion. First Jesus tells them they may be put to death. Then he tells them he has to leave them, and yet they shouldn’t worry, because they will be receiving an Advocate. I’m sure they were wondering, what is an Advocate? Then he tells them again that he will leave them and they will be filled with grief. But later, he tells them he will return to them and they will rejoice. At the end of all these seemingly contradictory statements, he basically says to them: I’ve got this! In me you will have peace! Take heart!
Recently I have felt the same fear and confusion. It has become necessary for me to start receiving Medicaid. This will possibly mean moving into a different facility and definitely into a shared room. I will have to start over in teaching people how to care for me; how to use my wheelchair; how to position me in the bed; and so much more. And it always feels so humiliating when I have a new caregiver that has to bathe me, dress me, feed me, and just get to know my routine.
Despite all of these worries, Jesus tells me I need to take heart. Easier said than done. I have to admit that I am no spiritual giant, and sometimes I prefer just to cower in the corner. Sometimes I prefer to not talk to anyone but to spend sleepless nights thinking the worst. I was smart enough this week to ask my close friends and family to begin praying. We are praying that my next move will put me in a place where I can feel purposeful and productive. We are praying for caretakers who are respectful and caring.
John 16:22 Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. 23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
This passage fills my heart with faith. It tells me there will be times of grief. There will be times of uncertainty. There will be times of heartache. There will be times when we feel like Jesus has left us. There will be times of deferred hope. And yet, joy will come. And no one, I MEAN NO ONE, will take that joy away. And the most important part of this passage is the call to pray. To pray about anything and everything that is weighing down on your heart. And your joy will be complete.
Take heart.
Diary of a Quadriplegic 
I love reading your posts. They are so helpful to me and always encourage me. I am praying you are placed in the perfect place, where you are needed and cared for in a great way. I pray you will change the lives of those around you and they in turn encourage and lift your spirits too. Love you!!
LikeLike
Thank you, Paulette!
LikeLike
Great post Terri, as usual.
LikeLike
There are way too many times that I m filled with grief, anger, fear…pick one or fill in your own. And I DON’T go to God! So stupid, because I know when I do, the emotion just drains away. The situation is the same, but the baggage is gone. Will I ever learn?!?
I truly admire your perseverance! You have your up and down days, as you say, but you keep coming back to your Strength. I am so glad of your courage to openly share your path with us. You make us reflect, re-evaluate, and move just one…more…inch toward God
LikeLike
Jeff – I think your steroid shot inspired me to write this. So thank you!
LikeLike
Ha! And you inspired me to write the piece I just now posted! https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2016/03/12/fear/
It’s pretty much about you and the things you make me contemplate. I hope I did OK. If not, please forgive me!
LikeLike
I’m reading your post at 3 a.m. I awakened more than an hour ago and couldn’t sleep because of so many fears, worries, needs and burdens racing around in my head. Thank you for making the effort to write and communicate your heart to us. Your transparency and commitment to trust Jesus encourage me this early morning. I will bring your needs along with mine to God in my prayers. I love you, Terri.
LikeLike
I’ve got people praying for you as well. My prayers are that you will find a place of safety and of peace; a place where you will find a purpose; a place where you will be a light and a voice to those who have no hope; a place where you will feel loved and needed. In Jesus name…
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
LikeLike
Terri I pray that God will show you the purpose He has for you. I pray that in your new location you will find new friends and you will be an inspiration to them. A friend told me once that if I would ask for help the person helping me would benefit from helping me more than I would ever know. She was so right.
LikeLike
I pray that God will show you the purpose he has for you. you will make new friends in your new location and you will be a blessing to them. A friend once told me if I asked for help I was doing more for that person than they could do for me. Blessings, Marilyn
LikeLiked by 1 person
Looks like the writer’s block is gone! And replaced by a flood of faith and truth. I am so amazed at the power of God that I see at work in you, helping you and changing you into the person that you truly want to be. Moving physical mountains and casting them into the sea is NOTHING compared to the emotional and spiritual mountains that God is moving. Please know that Steve and I are praying for God to make it clear what He has in store for you with this Medicare thing. I can’t help but think that the time has come for your life to be shared with someone (a roommate). I know that will include the highs and lows for both of you. He is handpicking that person.
I love you dearly and am so proud of you.
LikeLike
The writers block is over and been replaced by a flood of faith and power. I am so proud of you but I am even MORE amazed at God and the work that He is doing in your life. When Jesus said that we would do even greater things than cast a mountain into the sea he meant that we would move those huge emotional and spiritual mountains into the sea. I see that happening in your life!!!!!!!!!!!
Steve and I are praying about your new roommate and living situation. I can’t help but think that he has handpicked that person for you to ‘do life’ with. Someone that you can encourage and who can encourage you. He will be glorified! love you, Betsy
LikeLike
Wow, such an inspiring post, Terri.
I only disagree with one thing you wrote – you ARE a spiritual giant!
I feel horrible for you having to move to a new facility and having to deal with multiple caregivers… As I’ve told you before, I’ve had the same caregiver for 8 years (the woman that fills in for my wife) and I can’t imagine having to deal with different people (I’m modest 🙂 ).
Seriously, I will be praying for you, my friend.
LikeLike
Dear Terri, I am always amazed at the way you so beautiful put your thoughts into words and find scriptures that connect. Through so much uncertainty, pain and trials, you inspire me (and others) to keep holding on to God’s Unchanging Hand! Please know that you have a huge purpose and you are helping everyone who comes into contact with you in ways you won’t know until heaven. You are loved deeply. Lynn
LikeLike
Terri,
My prayers are with you! Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly about your life. I’m praying your caregivers are compassionate and courteous and that they take time to get to know you. If they do, you will profoundly affect them in a positive way.
Please know you are held in prayer, and I believe God is smiling on you. I believe He is pleased with how you handle this difficult assignment, how you are encouraging and inspiring others.
Stefanie Lynn
LikeLike